What do men want out of life? For most men the answer is simple – they want a quiet life. Men don’t cope well with emotional upheavals. They detest drama and arguments. They yearn for a peaceful existence, untroubled by upsets and quarrels.

 

Aren’t women just the same? No, not exactly. A woman often resolves problems by “thinking out loud.” She usually wants to discuss and analyze and “share.” To a man this often feels more like confrontation, even if this is not what she intended. The four little words that a man most dreads hearing are “we have to talk.” For him this is code for, “Uh oh, I’m in trouble again.”

 

The quickest way to send a man running is to create a life full of drama. If you really need to discuss something – pick your moment. Let him have his peace and quiet when he first walks through the door, so he doesn’t dread coming home. Let him watch his favorite programs uninterrupted. Unless the house is burning down, whatever it is that’s on your mind can wait.

 

Get into the habit of doing a lot of your “thinking out loud” with your girlfriends, not with him. That’s what female friends are for! Then you can discuss the results of your deliberations with him, and he won’t feel nearly so threatened. Learning to handle conflict is a skill – fight in such a way that life isn’t constantly full of drama and your relationship will survive and thrive.

 

Just remember – he’d rather face down  a saber toothed tiger than deal with conflict!