Shakespeare was so amazing when it came to analyzing the human condition. In the play “Macbeth” there is a speech commonly known as “the porter’s speech” which sums up something I so often hear from callers. The speech is about the farmer who hanged himself “in the expectation of plenty.” What does that mean? Well, it goes like this …

 

The farmer is expecting a bumper crop. He starts thinking about his good fortune, anticipating all the money he will have, but then he has second thoughts. If his crop is so good, then his neighbours’ crops will be good too. There will be a glut of produce, and prices will fall, not rise. He gets so depressed thinking about it that he goes out and hangs himself.

 

Shakespeare had it right. Human beings are so often guilty of this sort of negative thinking. Someone meets a great new partner and all they can think of is that it must be too good to be true, so they start sabotaging the relationship in order to prove themselves right. They fear success, or good health or new friendships just in case it all goes wrong. Many of us are so comfortable with our familiar negative patterns that it is hard for us to see that we are “hanging ourselves in the expectation of plenty. “

 

Here’s what a client wrote to me recently that illustrates the point. Fortunately, she has seen the error of her ways and is making some great changes in 2009.

 

“I was talking with my friend C. today. She and I were "tossing around" some possible reasons for our depression lately. I know this sounds strange but we feel like we are more depressed because we have been more social and enjoying ourselves. Not to say that we shouldn’t enjoy life, that’s for sure but....every time I came home from a "nice evening" or positive event of some sort there was a huge let down followed by a three or four day depression in which I become a hermit. See, becoming a hermit again is how I fix the "hole". I fill it myself. I found out that she was behaving the same way.

You see.... I used to be a "hermit" all the time. I was very comfortable in my own skin and was content. There was no drama and there were no disappointments or let-downs of any kind. I believed I was in complete control. Sometime in the last two years I began to branch out and become more social. At first, it was like getting a shot in the arm. I would go where -ever, do my thing and be very glad to be back home where it was safe. Then I managed to stay longer and longer away from home, eventually finding myself wanting to be out quite a bit.

Now comes the realization.....OK.. I finally realize why I am sad. These relationships are good NOT bad. I am sad now, when I come home, because I am actually missing a good thing....not escaping the drama and negativity.

My friend C. described it like unplugging from a really good source of energy. I hope this does not sound like I am complaining. To the contrary, I think its good! I am glad to know that I am finally sad to miss something positive. Now all I have to do is work out the balance.

You told me in my reading for 2009 that I will be happy with the choices I have made to get me where I am. Well, I already am. Even though, it might be hard to create this balance in my social life, I am happy that I made the choice to get out there and be more social. It is definitely worth it!”

 

Thanks K for sharing this great revelation!