I often receive calls that go something like this: “Should I call him?” or “Should I send her a card?” The person asking the question is confused because there are romantic complications involved, and they have lost their bearings as to the right thing to do.

 

In a self conscious situation like this, where there is a tendency to overanalyze what would otherwise be a simple decision, the best advice is to take a step back and look at it from a dispassionate perspective. If this was just a friend and there were no romantic complications involved, what would you do then? That’s the thing to do.

 

This approach takes all the agony out of the decision. Just do what you would NORMALLY do. But what if it proves to be “wrong”? Well then, they weren’t the right person for you anyway, because they are not a good fit for your normal behaviour. You can’t change yourself for others. As Bill Cosby once said, “I don’t know the recipe for happiness, but I do know the recipe for unhappiness – trying to please other people.”