One of my favorite short stories is O. Henry’s “The Gift of the Magi.” It was written round about the turn of the last century, and concerns a young married couple who are very poor. Their only riches are his grandfather’s pocket watch and her beautiful long hair. Christmas is approaching, and they have no money to buy gifts for each other. Each makes a secret decision. On Christmas Eve the young woman sells her hair to a wig maker in order to buy her husband a chain for his pocket watch, while he sells his pocket watch in order to buy her some combs for her hair. They each give their all to show their love for their partner.

 

For many years I read this story as simply one about loving self sacrifice, but as I’ve got older, I’ve started to see it another way. I often get calls from people that go something like this: “I wouldn’t mind dating him, but I’m not in love and he might get hurt, so I’ve decided not to go out with him.” This is a good example of what appears on the surface to be an act of self sacrifice, but in fact involves making decisions on behalf of another person without consulting them.

 

We do not have the right to make decisions that affect others without their knowledge. It is arrogant and unfair, especially when it is done regarding a future that may not even happen! It is complicated enough running our own lives without second guessing other people. “The Gift of the Magi” is a beautiful story, but it’s also extremely sad as they both ended up losing something they valued and gaining something they didn’t want or need.

 

With thanks to Murray, who reminded me to write this one down at long last. Hang in there!