Hello, this is your dog speaking. Here are some things I’d really like you to know:

 

  1. I love it when you give me treats, but some of the things that taste good to you are not good for me. Chocolate can poison me – really it can! And one rasher of bacon for you is the same as 41 for me – would you eat that much? Doggy treats taste just as good to me, but better still, just play with me.
  2. It’s great that you care about my health, but please don’t give me your medicine. Pain killers for people can cause me kidney failure. If you love me, take me to the vet, don’t use things from your own medicine cabinet.
  3. I know you think I’m almost human, but really, I’m a dog! I need you to be leader of our pack. When you don’t give me clear guidelines it confuses me, and I can get irritable and feel out of control. Be firm and it will be better for both of us.
  4. I get bored when you go out. If you leave the radio on it keeps me company and I don’t hear so many strange noises that make me bark.
  5. When I get old, please don’t make me suffer because of your need to keep me around. I would really like it if you let me go in peace. Share the love you have for me with another dog instead. By freeing my spirit, you are allowing us the opportunity for me to return to you in a new body.

 

Do these small things for me, and I will be the most loyal friend you’ll ever have – I promise!

 

PS: I’m sorry I chewed up your slippers, but after all, I’m a dog – it’s in my job description!