Finding Forgiveness…
Just like oxygen is necessary to live, forgiveness is necessary not only for our spiritual development, but to have happiness in our daily lives. First, keep in mind the universal principle of forgiveness. There seems to be no exception to this principle. It is not a question of whose pain is worse, or whose life has been more traumatized by the actions of others. Forgiveness seems to be necessary for all of us to have peace.
I heard many clients say to me, “Jim, I just can’t forgive this person!” When I hear that type of response, I empathize. I do get it. It can be so hard to forgive, but at the same time, it needs to be done. The bitterness, anger, rage, self pity and hurt gets worse if we don’t try to forgive. It becomes like a cancer within us, and wreaks havoc in all areas of our journey! Remember this concept: hating someone is like drinking doses of poison daily.
What do we do when we just can’t forgive? The hurt is so egregious; the pain so visceral, the impact on our lives seems so absolute and permanent. There’s no relief in sight and the quality of our lives has dramatically diminished from the actions of someone else. In that case, here is a dynamite affirmation to help heal those wounds and scars: “Heavenly Father, I cannot humanly forgive this person. Please allow your divine forgiveness to work through me!” - Catherine Ponder, student of Florence Shinn
Here are some tips: Try to look at someone else’s situation that has been worse than your own. All you need to do is watch the nightly news to see unthinkable tragedy thrust upon ordinary people everyday. Looking at another person’s pain increases empathy, and adds perspective. You might ask yourself, “How could they have done this to me?” Sometimes the person who hurt you is just being who they are – they’re not doing it to you, they’re just doing it. It’s not as personal as it may seem. They are just at a different level of consciousness that may be lower or darker than your own.
Be hopeful. Know that the divine universe will take care of you and that new opportunity and blessings are on the horizon. Forgiving the one who has hurt you actually DOES open new doors. As the great master Florence Shinn said, “A blessing never comes to you, it comes through you.” By becoming free of the pain of the past, we become an open channel for God to work through!
Ask yourself, do you want this person to enslave you any more? Do you want to give him / her that kind of power over you? Your hatred or anger toward them ONLY affects you. They probably don’t care, and there’s no need for you to either!
You may say, “I don’t know how to do this.” I’ve tried, but it just doesn’t work.” Never lose sight of the fact that there may be a lot to forgive, therefore, it’s necessary to stay diligent and keep persisting in your attempt to forgive. Getting it mentally does very little if anything at all to heal the situation. One needs to break through the defenses, old attitudes, ego, negative emotions and walls, to get to the core of one’s being, and ultimately forgive! Don’t give up! Stay with it!
I have witnessed countless examples of how the power of forgiveness transforms our lives for the better! You too can absolutely achieve the peace that forgiveness brings!