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5 Signs You are with Your "RELATIONSHIP EQUAL"

There are no perfect relationships. They do not exist. There are, however, relationship EQUALS that DO exist. What is a 'relationship equal' ? You put in equal efforts to keep your relationship flourishing. No, I am not talking "soul mate", but your relationship equal can be a soul mate for you. Following are the five critical elements that combine together so that you know if you are with your relationship equal:

1.  When you fight (and yes, you will disagree on many things) your relationship equal is willing to sit down and talk with you. He/She will not just spout off your faults and place blame on you, he/she will not scream and yell at you, but talk. In an adult way, to figure out solutions so that the same argument doesn't creep up wearing a different costume. Together you find PRODUCTIVE methods to RESOLVE your differences - even if this means that you agree to disagree.

2. He/She will make you feel secure in the relationship. Demonstrations of love will always be present, whether they are small things like turning off the lights, or making sure the door is locked. You will both DO small things that add up to big things overall FOR each other.

3. He/she will not be secretive about his/her whereabouts. Your relationship equal tells you what is going on in his/her life because the care and love is abundant, and there is nothing to hide.

4. When you are fully present in a relationship with your equal, you want to show appreciation, and he/she will show appreciation for you. You each put the effort into saying thank you's and maintain respect for each other.

5. You are both honest with each other, saying how you feel because there is a safe space to express yourself. If there is something bothering you, you do not fear coming out and saying it because he/she might reject or laugh at your concerns. In a relationship that has equal parts, there is no fear or over-analyzing what "might" happen.

Are you with your relationship equal? Or, are you with a "project" that interjects drama on a constant basis into your relationship, leaving you off balance and in a state of confusion?

There are productive ways to get your relationship balanced and in a good space, but it does require two willing participants.

Sending you angels and stability today!
Jane
Published Tuesday, July 06, 2010 11:30 AM by Jane Wilcox
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Saturday, July 10, 2010 4:18 AM by Lisa Dianne

# re: 5 Signs You are with Your "RELATIONSHIP EQUAL"

This is a great post! Awesome advice and it's so true. :)

Blessings to you!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010 8:17 AM by Susan

# re: 5 Signs You are with Your "RELATIONSHIP EQUAL"

What if someone does not think you need to know where they are 100% of the time, like I work and my boyfriend is retired. I may ask, what are you doing - "Oh  picking up a few things I need at Lowes." me -"Oh really, what are you working on?" him - "Do I have to tell you every little minute of my day?"
Friday, January 14, 2011 10:36 PM by AJCalhoun

# re: 5 Signs You are with Your "RELATIONSHIP EQUAL"

Susan: Just as with everything, there is a spectrum of this sort of behavior which, in a relationship (implying two people are involved), covers both parties. Now then: there are certainly those who try to carry on covert operations that are simply wrong and "something to hide." However, what you've described here in your question seems innocent. You asked what Boyfriend was doing and he told you. You then want more details, in order for him to prove to you he's not actually lying and doing something else. This may betray an active distrust on your part and if so, his cranky response might well be due to frustration because he gets this frequently from you. This is all speculation on my part, but since I doubt you'd ask based on a single incident, either Boyfriend is constantly raising your suspicions or you are feeling unduly insecure in the relationship. Probably the two of you should discuss this frankly.

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