Are YOU in a RUBBER-BAND Relationship?

You've been told it's over. Is it really over? Many times the "RUBBER-BAND" thing ensues - which means he comes back around for a few days then *poof* vanishes again. Why the back and forth tap-dancing? Jane's theory involves two separate sets of "WHY the RUBBER BAND”.

The First “RUBBER-BAND THEORY”

You must understand. It's NOT you that is being rejected.... it's the IDEA of what you REPRESENT that is rejected. He/She isn't READY for a deeply committed relationship. He/She truly knows that you are a wonderful person and a delight to be with, but his/her feelings and emotions are not at the same level as yours. YOU are NOT being REJECTED. He/she will continue to revisit the relationship THINKING that MAYBE this time he/she is ready to match your level of emotion. When he/she realizes that it's too deep, *poof* they vanish for a while.

The Second “RUBBER-BAND THEORY”

This tap dance of "should I stay or should I go" is not nearly as kind as the one above. In my rudimentary research there are three parts to this:

The first part is that he/she wants to make sure you still want him/her (rather selfish, don't you agree?). Second, he/she tests him/herself to make sure his/her decision to end the relationship is the correct one (again, rather selfish - wouldn't you agree?) and finally, he/she doesn't really want you to move on in case he/she can't find anyone else to fill your shoes...in other words keep you around as "Plan B" in case "Plan A" doesn't appear. (*sigh* really selfish, don't you agree?).

What should you do in the midst of these frustrating scenarios?  Obviously you want him/her to be with you, right? However, I suggest that for YOUR higher good that you do the vanishing act. It hurts your heart to be around him/her - even if you try to convince yourself that it's just for a cup of coffee, inside you WANT more. If you WANT more from a partner, it requires sacrifice on your part. Just say no. If he/she isn't willing to step up and make YOU the priority, recognize this and move on.

Just look at it this way: WHAT do YOU deserve? Confusion, tears, and heartache.... OR …Joy, laughter, and fun?

Trust me, there is always someone that WON’T play ping-pong with your brain cells and who WILL give you the relationship that you want – and that person is usually the one that you ignore because you’re so wrapped up in Mr./Ms. Rubber-Band person!

Make it a great Thursday; I’m available for your calls!

Sending you angels,