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Be PATIENT for those SPARKS!

The "sparks" aren't there! ....I mean he's attractive and all that, we had some nice conversation but there weren't any "sparks".  This is a common complaint when someone meets a person from an on line dating service.  The OTHER common complaint is: "I've fallen out of love"... the "sparks" died.
 
Ok, listen up. The OLDER you get, those tingly butterflies take a while to hatch out of the cocoon they've been hibernating in. Case in point: I met my current partner FOUR times - talked to him, and there was NOTHING. Then, one day - he smiled at me in a certain way and well... let's just say the butterflies finally hatched.
 
"Love at first sight" may be well and good when you're 20 - it may even happen a little later in your life. I am not suggesting that it doesn't happen. TO MOST, it doesn't. When you're meeting someone from an on line dating service, give it a CHANCE. Don't assess it within the first 2 minutes that you see this person - by 3 dates you know if you truly have anything in common.
 
The second case in point is: "I've fallen out of love with you". Initially, all the great and wonderful feelings were there, but they just aren't there anymore. Ok, let's get real. You still LIKE the person, and what has happened is that those infatuation bubbles have popped and now TRUE LOVE has an opportunity to take over. When you love someone, it sticks with you like glue. And, little things they do still make you smile. And the occasional butterfly flits by. If this isn't happening, then chances are you experienced total infatuation - and nothing about TRUE LOVE was present.
 
Just give love a chance to develop. Don't rush to judgment - don't feel the need to classify the budding relationship too soon- let it define itself.
 
Have a great day!
Available for your calls,
and I send you angels,
Jane
Published Friday, December 19, 2008 8:36 AM by Jane Wilcox

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Sunday, January 11, 2009 7:36 AM by Cindy

# re: Be PATIENT for those SPARKS!

I read your advice about true love. I was in a long term partnership for ten years and I noticed that the sparks were not there however since we have been seperated for two years he has been so vendictive and out to hurt me.
I still love him very much. I have dated many men but Iam not able to open my heart to them.
I have met wonderful men who treat me awesome however I still seek out my ex even after all the painful breakup I still love him and find it hard to let him go. Is this real love??
Should I try to reconcile? or am I just holding onto memories but deep down inside I know the reason he is so angry at me is because he still truly loves me but is unable to admit it or realize it.

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