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Be your OWN "VALENTINE" - LOVE YOU!

Ah, here it comes again. That dreaded man-made holiday that celebrates love thus allowing Hallmark to make a boatload of money selling cards, and Whitman's sells tons of chocolates in those heart-shaped boxes. Oh, can't forget that the florists cash in on this day, too! If you're single, it could very well be the most depressing day of the year.... HOWEVER - I'm here to tell you it doesn't have to be IF you LOVE YOU!!!

self-de·struc·tive  adj.

  1. Tending to do harm to one’s self.

Self-Destructiveness has the ABSENCE of:

self-esteem n 1: a feeling of pride in yourself [syn: self-pride] 2: the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect; "it was beneath his dignity to cheat"; "showed his true dignity when under pressure" [syn: dignity, self-respect, self-regard]

AND

self-re·spect n.

Due respect for oneself, one's character, and one's conduct.

 

 

Without SELF RESPECT, and without SELF-ESTEEM, most will do something that will REINFORCE LOW SELF WORTH, which is basically, self-destructive.

 

For example: having sex with someone you don’t know….

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH INTIMACY.

It is LACK of REGARD FOR SELF.

IF you feel worthless, you have no self-respect. You will do something that will make you feel humiliated; and you will do something that is GOING TO REINFORCE THIS. What you do with “A perfect stranger” has nothing to do with Love or Intimacy – and everything to do with the self-hatred you feel for yourself. Afterward, you are able to say, “See, you are worthless, and you don’t deserve anything”.

Why does it continue? Because you don’t get out of your “loathing space”, and you continue your own self-punishment; because you have no emotional attachment, it IS easy to DETACH, and continue to punish yourself in this self-destructive space.

The angels WANT you to LOVE YOURSELF, and have RESPECT for the life you’ve been gifted. Are you snagged in the “blame, shame guilt” trip of self-hatred? Do you realize that this is something that you create? The Universe has perfect, unconditional love for YOU. Why is it so difficult for some to understand this? Why is it that some are so intent on inviting relationships into their lives that are detrimental and contradictory to the unconditional love that has been bestowed to them?

ASSIGNMENT: Today, take ten minutes to love yourself. Look in the mirror and smile at the beautiful person that you are. Do not find fault, but SEE the beauty in you and let your inner light shine forward!

************************
I'm available for your calls today!
Sending you angels, Love & Light,
Jane

Published Tuesday, February 09, 2010 1:30 PM by Jane Wilcox
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Comments

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 8:07 AM by Rosalea

# re: Be your OWN "AMERICAN IDOL" - LOVE YOU!

Dear Jane:

You are so very insightful.  Self esteem is all about honoring yourself and it is so valuable.  Honor yourself and others will step in right behind you and do the same.  Thanks for enlightening us once again.

Rosie
Wednesday, January 16, 2008 8:18 AM by ChangeNow

# re: Be your OWN "AMERICAN IDOL" - LOVE YOU!

This is so important, especially for women.  And women will only have positive self-esteem and self-respect if, as girls growing up, they are repeatedly and lovingly told that they are worth it!  Thanks for writing about this, Jane.  As a woman, I could have used more of this as a girl :-)
Wednesday, January 16, 2008 9:52 AM by Jane Wilcox

# re: Be your OWN "AMERICAN IDOL" - LOVE YOU!

Bloomy, sweetie, you're SO not alone! Most of us had to learn stuff due to our parents missing the boat to GoodParentLand. Today's parents are so much more informed, and know that infusion of self-esteem must - AND it comes from THEM! It's still a struggle for so many to feel WORTHY. Truth is, we are 'worthy' just by 'being'.

Smiles to and for you!
Jane

Added note for Rosie: I love the use of your verbiage: "honor self" - thank YOU!

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