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Brat Attack 101: I NEED TO KNOW and I NEED to know NOW!

So, you’ve been seeing each other for about 6-8 weeks. Everything is peachy. You’re having fun, trying to just go with the flow of the undefined relationship. You like him, he likes you, and you’re chomping at the bit wanting to put some kind of definition into the relationship. Why? What difference does it make “what” the relationship is? Why do you “need” to know if you are “the one” or “if it’s going anywhere”?  Where do you want it to go? Do you want the whole enchilada – and in your mind if you don’t get the entire enchilada complete with side dishes – it’s a waste of time?

Get this: NO relationship is a waste of anyone’s time – not yours, not his – there’s a reason why you connected. It may be for a month, it may be for a year; but it’s not a waste of time UNLESS YOU define it as a “waste of your time” because the relationship did not or isn’t meeting what YOUR expectation is.

Neale Donald Walsch writes in his book, “Friendship with God” the following:

Love-Enders

Expectation and Jealousy

Excerpt from

Friendship with God

By

Neale Donald Walsch

 

So, what of the two “love-enders”: expectation and jealousy?

(God’s Answer)            Even if you manage to eliminate “need” from your relationship with each other, you may still have to struggle with expectation.  This is a state in which you have an idea that someone else in your life is to perform in a particular way, is going to show up as whom you think they are, or who you think they should be.

            Like “need”, expectation is deadly.  Expectation reduces freedom, and freedom is the essence of love.

            When you love someone, you grant him or her total freedom to be who they are, for this is the greatest gift that you could give them, and love always gives the greatest gift.

            It is the gift that I give you, yet you cannot imagine that I am giving it to you, because you cannot imagine a love so great.  So, you have decided that I must have given you the freedom to do only the things that I want you to do.

            Yes, your religions say that I give you the freedom to do anything, to make any choice you wish.  Yet, I ask you again: If I torture you endlessly and damn you eternally, for making a choice I did not want you to make, have I made you free?  No. I have made you able.  You are able to make whatever choice you wish, but you are not free to.  Not if you care about the outcome.  And, of course, all of you do.

            So, this is how you’ve got it constructed:  if I’m to grant you your reward in heaven, I expect you to do things my way.  And this you call God’s love.  Then, you hold each other in the same place of expectation, and you call this love.  Yet, it is not love, in either case, for love expects nothing save what freedom provides, and freedom knows nothing of expectation.

            When you do not require a person to show up as you imagine you need them to be, then you can drop expectation.  Expectation goes out the window.  Then you love them exactly as they are.  Yet, this can only happen when you love your Self exactly as you are.  And THAT can only happen when you love ME (God) exactly as I am.

            In order to do that, you must know ME as I am, not as you have imagined me to be.

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IF you are able to just sit back, relax, and ENJOY the moments you have with your special someone, WITHOUT the need to “define” “where it’s going” not only will you maintain a better and longer relationship, it will surprise you that the COMITTMENT you desire will just happen! No pressure, no ultimatums, just LET IT HAPPEN.

 

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Food for thought on this first day of July! Yippie!

Are fireworks in store for you this 4th of July????? Give me a call today and find out. I’m available for limited times this week, but check for call backs.

Make it a GREAT Tuesday!

Sending you angels,

Jane

Published Tuesday, July 01, 2008 10:06 AM by Jane Wilcox

Comments

Tuesday, July 01, 2008 9:30 AM by Rosalea

# re: Brat Attack 101: I NEED TO KNOW and I NEED to know NOW!

Dear Jane:

I was writing to you on my blog that I have been missing your blogs and here you are!  Hooray! this is another great blog and thanks for posting for us.  This is a much needed blog at this time for a lot of relationships seem to be hitting some very rocky ground lately.  Thanks Jane and I so glad you are posting again.

Rosie
Tuesday, July 01, 2008 10:36 AM by Jane Wilcox

# re: Brat Attack 101: I NEED TO KNOW and I NEED to know NOW!

Thanks, Rosie... Why is it (I hope SOMEONE can answer it) that relationships are all over the map right now??? I've been reading on some extremely reluctant partners and it just seems to have occurred within the last couple of weeks!
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