Breaking the "Cyclic Relationship"
The minute you realize that you've released a destructive relationship from your life is YOUR moment of your personal liberation. Your spirit is lighter, and there is no heaviness around your heart. You are FREE from the brick wall you've banged your head on.
What you FINALLY realize is this: You deserve to be treated better. You've been lured in time after time with terms of endearment, empty promises that give you hope that the manipulative ways have ceased to exist. THIS time, he/she is really going to be true to you. When it plays out, you can easily recall the tell-tell signs that this is a ruse. NO one "changes" their fundamental make up and character. Behavior can be modified, but the fundamental value system (or lack of) does NOT change.
When you fully understand (that light bulb moment) and get that it's just the start of another cycle in this emotionally (sometimes physically) abusive relationship, it's time for YOU to take action and get off the merry-go-round.
I realize that jumping off the merry-go-rouund is difficult, because YOU are a nurturer, you want to "fix" what is wrong, and make your partner see the error of his/her way. And YOU want the love you've give to be returned.....And, yet, deep inside of you - you know that it's just another futile attempt.
Why stay? The ONLY reason one stays in an "impossible to be content" relationship is due primarily to fear. Fear that you're going to be alone, fear that maybe you didn't try hard enough (because you believe that it's all YOUR fault why it isn't working). When you have a partner that continually insists on placing the entire blame for the relationship NOT working, it's time to call for Bastille Day and free yourself.
Easy process? Of course not. But, if you stick to what you know in your heart to be true, you will realize that the two of you not only are not on the same page, you're not even in the same book. Some invest years into this type of relationship, only to come up empty handed - and thus feeling a mighty huge boatload of resentment.
How did you get here in the first place? It's easy. YOU believe in love. Unfortunately, the partner that you get caught in this trap with not only does not know WHAT "love" is, but he/she feels so undeserving of real happiness, that you are continually drug into the depths of their despair.
When you can think of this person that captivated your heart without resentment, without feeling, (including feeling sorry for them), when you have the ability to look upon them as just another person populating the world and it doesn't affect you - you're liberated. And, trust me, the next one will be sooooo much better.
Congratulations to all you "loop cutters" today! You've got the courage to cut yourself out of the viscous loop that has held you captive.
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Personal note: I will be available on a limited schedule Saturday & Sunday. My mother is having a 75th birthday, and I wouldn't miss it for anything. I am blessed that she is still around to be my best friend, along with a source of frustration (she's ALWAYS right) *smiles*.
Sending you angels,
Jane