What is it that we miss the most when our hearts are breaking? Think about
this long and hard. There's so many people in the world that we can fall in love
with, but when we connect with one person, then disconnect - why is it that they
take our hearts with them? There's such a void. And when it happens out of the
blue, it's even more devastating to us because we don't even see it
coming.
So what, exactly, is heartbreak? Well, it can be a number of factors tied
into one. It can be as simple as the anticipation of a phone call at a certain
time. That time passes - no call. Disappointment follows. It can be the hope
that when you do get that call, they will want to see you - and they don't even
mention that they'd like to see you. More disappointment follows. It's the
reality they don't want you in their life anymore, so you experience rejection
and this takes you into a space of beating up on yourself; thinking it was all
your fault.
Heartbreak means no sleep, tossing and turning wondering how you made
things so wrong when they appeared to be so right. Bits and pieces of
conversations run around in your head and you wish that you could take words
back, but they can't be. Of course there's no eating. Who can eat when you're
depressed? The whole system shuts down. Some turn to self-medicating methods of
coping initially but, hey - you can only drink so much until even that doesn't
help matters.
The biggest thing is you miss the closeness, the intimacy that you felt
with one person. You feel like it won't happen again. You wallow around for a
while, trying to cope with not having anyone in your life to share the little
things with. Small things that made you laugh, but you remember the big things
that made you cry. So, you shared joy and sorrow. You shared your human-ness
with another human being. It made you feel whole again. Even if you didn't
realize that you weren't whole in the first place.
Some can move on quickly, demonstrating that their loss wasn't that great.
Others, that love whole-kindheartedly take longer. So, how do you make the pain go
away? Diversion is a good substitute. Divert your energies into something else.
Vow to move forward. And try not to let the pain drag you back.
Most of all, heartache eventually subsides. And this is something that we
need to trust. It will eventually go away - or at least fade so that it isn't
consuming so much of your time. Try not to cling to the hope that they'll come
back, but if this helps you get thru the day then do it.
I've had people ask me: "How can I make the pain stop?" Good question. I
don't know how to "make it stop" but I can assure you that without the deep pain
we feel of a break up, we would never experience the joy that
someone new can bring us. Keep the faith...
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I am available for your calls today!
Sending you angels,
Jane