Change comes when YOU want it!
I am asked all the time: "Will he/she change?". I've contemplated this
for a while now, and have concluded that yes, he/she WILL change - but
not necessarily in the manner that you WANT him/her to change.
When I was in school, I read some obscure poetry that (at the time) I
thought was SO profound. Kurt Vonnegut's "The Springhill Mind
Disaster". It was a collection of one and two lines of words on each
page which composed "Poetry". Going through the boxes of my recent
move, I found a copy of the book, dusted it off, and just laughed! HOW
in God's name did I ever even think this was something that spoke to
me? What was I thinking that this was GREAT literature? It got thrown
into the "donate" pile.
We outgrow things all the time: The dishes that we once loved with
Mickey Mouse on them no longer serve us; the collection of Beanie
Babies (now stashed in tons of garbage sacks with no where to be
displayed) stay in the storage shed. All of these "THINGS" that at one
time we couldn't live without - now sit - because we don't have the
heart to throw them out - yet no place for them in our lives anymore.
Do people "change"? No, not really. Fundamentally, value systems and
core beliefs remain steady. Oh, sure, once in a while someone else
presents a view point that will give someone a cause to pause and
perhaps rethink a position. Attitudes can change. We can all learn not
to allow certain actions to force a reaction that is detrimental.
Basically, we can LEARN to soften up, lighten up, and laugh at what was
once so serious in our lives. We CAN learn to adapt to situations, to
bend a bit to accommodate someone in our lives. We ARE able to make
concessions without grasping onto what we once felt was a "deal
breaker". This is "change"
However, if you are with someone that is dead set against throwing out
bags full of beanie babies because for whatever reason he/she is
committed to having them in his/her life - NO amount of reasoning is
going to get them to toss those things away.
Conclusion: If you want "change" in your relationship, YOU are the one
that needs to adjust and adapt. And, the beauty of it is that once YOU
start shifting your perspectives, your partner will follow suit.
Meanwhile, anyone want six garbage bags full of Beanie Babies? I really feel that I'm ready to get rid of them.....
Sending you angels on this Wonderful Wednesday!
Jane