FORGET the BIRD and FRUIT TREE- I want a RING!
Honestly,
do you think your "true love" would send you a squawking bird in a
flimsy fruit tree? What kind of message is that? The five gold rings,
now there's a great idea!
Did you know that the cost of all that junk is now estimated to be
128,886.00????? Here is MY ideal 12 Days of Christmas:
On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me: "Greg Brendt's book: "He's just not that into you"
On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me: "Two vials of lavender oil, and Greg Brendt's book"
On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me "Three French pastries, two vials of lavender oil, and Greg Brendt's book"
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me "Four iPhones
for calling (what he mistakenly thought was the 'ring' I wanted), three French pastries, two vials of lavender oil, and Greg
Brendt's book".
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me "Five platinum
rings, four iPhones for calling, three French pastries, two vials of
lavender oil, and Greg Brendt's book"
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me "Six goose down
pillows, five platinum rings, four iPhones for calling, three French
pastries, two vials of lavender oil and Greg Brendt's book".
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me "Seven Swans
frozen food dishes, six goose down pillows, five platinum rings, four
iPhones for calling, three French pastries, two vials of lavender oil
and Greg Brendt's book".
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me "Eight cartons
of non-fat milk, seven Swans frozen food dishes, six goose down
pillows, five platinum rings, four iPhones for calling, three French
pastries, two vials of lavender oil, and Greg Brendt's book".
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me "Nine tickets to
Dancing with the Stars, eight cartons of non-fat milk, seven Swans
frozen food dishes, six goose down pillows, five platinum rings, four
iPhones for calling, three French pastries, two vials of lavender oil,
and Greg Brendt's book".
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me, "Ten gift cards
to Lord & Taylor, nine tickets to Dancing with the Stars, eight
cartons of non-fat milk, seven Swans frozen food dishes, six goose down
pillows, five platinum rings, four iPhones for calling, three French
pastries, two vials of lavender oil, and Greg Brendt's book"
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me "Eleven men
with pipes, ten gift cards to Lord & Taylor, nine tickets to
Dancing with the Stars, eight cartons of non-fat milk, seven Swans
frozen food dishes, six goose down pillows, five platinum rings, four
iPhones for calling, three French pastries, two vials of lavender oil,
and Greg Brendt's book".
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me "Twelve
Jamaican's drumming a great Rastafarian beat bearing a GEORGEOUS Twelve Karat diamond ring.....while I snuggle on my
goose down pillows (just after taking a lavender oil bath) and prepare
to read Greg Brendt's book, along with Susan Argov's Book, "Why men
love Bitches". I am wearing the five platinum rings on one hand, my 12-Karat diamond on the left, eating French pastries, I am buying a ton of new clothes from Lord & Taylor
(I know I will look fabulous), giving the milk to the stray kitties, calling all my good
friends & family from each iPhone, and will find eight friends to go to
Dancing with the Stars (with me along, that makes nine). After the
show, we'll have dinner at my house eating the Swan's frozen gourmet
food dishes. And, about those eleven men with pipes.... not telling!
It will be a WONDERFUL twelve days of Christmas!
***********************************
I'm available for your calls today,
on my Four iPhones for calling.....
Sending you angels,
Jane