I UNDERSTAND, but don't ACCEPT it.
Sometimes those peppy one-liners about life are annoying. Ya, ya, I read those Laws of Attraction, and I buy into the "Live life to the fullest" and all that - but sometimes something happens that is so unjust and unfair, it makes my mind boggle...and the cynic in me takes over my thought process.
I wonder what those peppy Life Coaches could say now? "It's a great day to be alive?" or some equally inappropriate cliche.
Yes, it's always a great day to be alive, but today I spoke to the soon-to-be widow of one of the kindest most loving person I know. Her husband is dying. And, sure, we're ALL dying everyday - but I'm talking about dying NOW - as in given a month at best. He's in a tremendous amount of pain and suffering. I'm thinking that we live a life that is shrouded with bits of tremendous pain and suffering, so WHY should dying consolidate it all in one fell swoop? I am heartbroken. I am speechless. I am writing about it because verbalizing anything about it escapes me.
Death is the Yang to Life. It's inevitable. I understand it. I've lost friends in my teens. I've lost friends in my 20's. I lost my own husband in his very early 40's. I understand death. I get it, God. OK? It's just a fact of life that we all have to understand.
However, just because I UNDERSTAND it, doesn't mean that I have to accept it. Or, that I can't be angry about the loss, and mad. Mad because I hold both of them dear to me, and now I will have to stand strong for my friend that is soon-to-be a widow...married to her husband for 55 years.
Talk about true soul mates (and I don't even use that word "soul mate"). If there ever was a couple that exemplified soul mates, it is these two. They finish each others sentences, they laugh at the same time and act as if they are still dating. Together they brought me joy. And, I suppose that's what I'm the most angry about. Today, the news I got was a "Joy Robber". And, I know that there's a reason, I only wish that God could have prolonged this just for a while longer. I'm not ready to let go, and I sure know she isn't either.
No peppy one-liners today. No great quotes from happy Life coaches, just an intense depth of sadness and sorrow for my friends that I love. And I am praying for both. I ask that you do the same.
Sending you angels,
Jane