The Angel's Loft

Yes I know the type you are describing, but I think  the Flakey`s name  meaning is different in the USA to the Oz and Kiwi meaning.

You appear to be using flakey to describe someone who is mentally and emotionally exhausting, and controlling through manipulation and guilt.

I think we Antipodeans usually asssociate the term flaky with some one who is a bit eccentric or zaney,someone usually a litle bit different maybe almost silly or carefree but not usually bad or possessive, jealous, or manipulative.

The behaviour you have described doesn`t have to be a prospective sexual attraction partner either...it can be a galfriend or relative.

The behaviour of this man and me I feel was typlifed  to the old folk law  story about Blue Beard in the book Running with Wolves by Caroline Myss.  A highly good read for people wanting to know more about our folk law and how the stories apply to our behaviours and the tragedies we can  encounter through circumstance and meeting people.

I  once had a boyfriend like that you describe.. it was just 6 months after I left my husband and the country where we had lived and I had came home.My husband and I had moved apart  a yr and 1/2 prior to that.
I  met my Bluebeard who seemed delightful, full of fun , attractive in all ways...and he seemed to find me the same...his dream gal..we seemed to make a dynamic match....until 4 months down the track...6 months in total with this man did more damage to me than anyone I`ve ever known...he totally screwed my head...from being a vivacious sparkle I was a wilted weed.

Leaves me to realise it is not the length of time in a realtionship that makes the big difference it but the cruel behaviours of the people in it. I was with my husband from over 10 years and with Bluebeard 6 months...so much hurt put into a short time still amzes me.

It was the two months after the fun times that he began to change and get possesive and critical and tell me off in front of people ....unfortunately I got a bit brain washed and did begin to feel I was doing wrong...and also my husband came back to Nz and a mutal friend of this man and I did a bit of winding up........but since then I have run in to a few other women who friends were left crippled by the same man..and their relation ships were for years with him.

it been 10 years since we split...but it took 2 years to stop him entering my life thru other people...as I was saying...life can produce evidence later in life to show you were not going mad...and that`s when someone comes to you with a story and on furtther investiagation or questioning you find out...it was him! The bad behaviours are his and well practsied.

I am healed but it took ages ......turst was destroyed and the act of friendship treated like dirt did not do me well.

I`ll really never know what drove him to treat me so strangely...but I have some ideas.

He doesn`t freak me anymore when I see him..he used to make me feel physically sick to be with in metres of him!!! I d get shocks thru my body too.
And my dreams which he featured in were full on nightmares...so subconscience was really on to it.

I don`t think there is any way I could do any healing there with him... I am a type of healer....he was tooo much for me.

Can`t explain all would take too long....but there are huge strangenesses and complciations from way back then.

I am very happy with my boyfriend from when I was 16 now...we are of the same ...what a difference.

Love and life...and far too much writing from me.
Jules