Jane Says.....
I got really irritated with my mother the other night as I was engaged in our weekly conversation when she said, "Well, you know Jane, your father always said, "Water rises to its own level". (Referring to my current piglet love interest). Fine, mom. Gerrrr.
As mom rattled on about her sprinkler system springing a leak, I was wondering how many wise women passed little dittys on to their daughters? (Assuming that your mother is wise- aren't they all?) And who thinks these things up anyway? Ben Franklin wrote a ton of them, so did what's his name - the doom and gloomer that declared if anything can go wrong it will... (bet he was a joy to be around).
Today, I'm rewording these "Wise words of Wisdom" to "Jane-isms". Add your own "isms" if you'd like. I always say "The more, the merrier". (Who thought up that one? obviously someone that hated being alone).
"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen". Jane says: "If you can't stand the heat go hire someone to fan you" OR, "If you can't stand the heat it must be because you're having a hot flash - take some estrogen".... and, better yet: "If you can't stand the kitchen, that's why God created Pizza Hut".
"A penny saved is a penny earned" - this one IS old. Do you know what a penny can get you these days? MAYBE a 1/2 of a boozoka bubble gum piece (without the comic strip). Jane says: "A penny saved is absolutely WORTHLESS in today's market! Plan ahead for inflation".
"People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." ... Jane says: "If you're living in a glass house in the first place expect to get a window or two broken REGARDLESS if you're inside whooping it up tossing stones around."
"A rolling stone gathers no moss"... all right, correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't the IDEA of a rolling stone to NOT gather anything??? Jane says: "Don't try and have a relationship with a rolling stone. Period!" (Didn't the OJ's write a song about "Papa was a rolling stone"??? unhunh - and just look what happened to those kids and their mamma!)
"When you're too close to the forest, you can't see the trees"....or something like that... Well, DUH - of course I can't see the whole forest if one huge trunk of a tree is in my way. Jane says: "If you WANT to see the forest, carry a chainsaw to eliminate any obstruction of your view"
"Where there's a will there's a way." Well, if this isn't obvious! Jane says: "If you're in the Will, congratulations!"
Make it a great day! I'm available for your calls today!
Sending you angels,
Jane