Little Black Dress Syndrome......
No matter how much we may want something to work for us, sometimes for our own good, we just need to give it up and look for something different. The following analogy came to me last night, riffling through my cluttered closet deciding what to keep and what to get rid of.
Thus the inspiration for this blog of "The Little Black Dress Syndrome...."
Imagine that the person you are insisting on being with is a little black dress...one you outgrew two years ago. It hangs in your closet because you absolutely LOVE that dress, have had some great memories in it, you recall how wonderful it made you feel, and just know, in your heart, one day - SOME DAY, that you will wear it again.
Would you STILL wear it to a function, even though it's 3 sizes too small now? Visualize how uncomfortable you'd be with constant tugging, and making adjustments in a futile effort for it to fit. Ok, if that doesn't work, visualize you - looking like a sausage stuffed into a casing that is just too small.
When you force a relationship, this is what you are doing. Your partner, that once was a perfect fit for you, may experience the uncomfortable feelings because you insist that you two are *meant* to be together.
Consider this: you may have it so embedded in your mind that this is "the person *meant* for you" that it starts to evolve into your obsession (picture boiling bunnies). Obsessions are certainly not a healthy mind set at all. Seriously. People get arrested when they become too obsessed with someone!
Ultimately, (and hopefully) you will realize the time has come....the need to clean out the closet and donate that little black dress that fit when you were 20, but at 40 - no way is it ever going to fit. You may love that dress, have a lot of good memories in it, and hate to let go of it. Carefully folding it to donate it is tough, but you can do it. Why?
It just doesn't fit anymore, and it is cluttering your closet. It is more than cluttering your closet, it is preventing you from getting something new that DOES fit! If you look at your cluttered life, there's no room for anything NEW!
Holding onto the hope that someone will wake up and suddenly realize that they desperately need you to complete their life is as unrealistic as hoping that someday that little black dress that you love will sprout new seams and grow back into you. Do you have a little black dress cluttering YOUR closet giving you false expectation and hope?
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Sending you angels,
Jane