Manspeake 202 - The FIRST Date...
Manspeake 202... Read THIS if you have a FIRST date coming up with a man that's asked you out. This is straight from the horse's mouth - What men want, and what they do NOT want in women....Again, this is based on my rudimentary research which involves interviewing 'typical' men of average age. (27 to 35 and a few older and a couple younger). Point is, they all said the same thing.....
1. He will call YOU, and he will ask YOU out - for the same night. If you say yes, he will assume you have nothing better to do and have been hanging out by the phone waiting for him to call you. Do yourself a favor, and no matter how badly you want to see him again, say NO. And, no, this isn't "game" playing - this is a fact. Men do NOT want you to be too eager. Suggest another time that is better for you.
2. Do NOT hang on every word he says. He can't be THAT fascinating, and you do have the right to demonstrate that you have a brain. He actually WANTS to see that brain of yours!....HOWEVER, read Item #3...
3. Do NOT be a conversation hog, and talk so much that his ears ring. Silence is golden sometimes, and learn to be comfortable in the silence. He's measuring you up and thinking - even though he may not appear to be doing much. This also means he doesn't want your life story all in one fell swoop.
4. Stay AWAY from "ex" talk. IF you are asked, it's okay to say a few words like, "We weren't on the same page" but resist the urge to destroy your previous relationship with all kinds of negative words. It ended. Period. And that's all there is to that.
5. RESIST asking HIM about his previous relationships. Of course you're curious - but if you can be quiet long enough, he'll dish out bits and pieces of why it didn't work.
6. Whatever you do, do NOT get drunk and dance on his lap. He wants to know that you have responsibility to know when to say "when".
7. At the conclusion of the date, let HIM be the one to suggest you get together again. "When will I see you again" is just inappropriate. If he's wanting to see you again, he will call YOU. And, he'll tell you when he'll call you.
8. In keeping with Item #7 - conclude the date. Do not ask him to come to your home. He will ask you, and pray that you say NO. Seriously. He will.
9. The first date determines if it will lead to a second date. I can guarantee you that if you are a 'Chatty Cathy" and talk too much about yourself; if you sleep with him on the first date; if you get drunk and stupid on the first date, if you get too serious and intense on the first date - you will NOT have a second date.
10. Remember this: YOU are also entitled to size him up, and do your own assessment of how YOU feel. Too many women are so eager for a man that they forget that YOU are the other half of how successful a relationship is. If you make it all about HIM, you're setting a precedent that will only evolve further into making it all about HIM.
Ok, now you know a few of the things that men want on a date. No, they do not know if they want to spend the rest of their lives with you on that first or second date. Basically, you BOTH should be in the evaluation stage, but keeping it light hearted and discovering things you have in common and laugh a lot.
Next installment: Manspeake 301 - The Relationship. Until then, make it a great day!
Sending you angels,
Jane