The Blame Game - No One Wins.......
Don't you hate that struggle of "well I heard....." and the blaming starts, then the whole he said, she said, and 'they' saw you - begins? What is the real issue? Just think about it for a minute. If you are resorting to rumor and gossip and taking it as factual information to use against your ex, or whatever he/she might be - what good is it doing? Validating suspicious thoughts? Making you right? Who cares? The bottom line is that if you are resorting to this, what do you gain?
Um, nothing? Because the true HEART of the matter is the HEART. And, sure as your heart beats, and aches, or hurts - the only thing that will resolve conflict is stopping the attack. Resign yourself, surrender to the fact that you aren't in control - although you might like to be, you're not. Hurting someone to bring them to the level that you hurt only causes more anguish.
Honesty in communication is seldom apparent when the 'blame game' begins. Can't you just try to say what you're feeling (betrayed, kicked to the curb, etc) without stooping to "well I heard..."?
Kindness. To yourself. To your ex, or whatever. It works.
Just food for thought on a Thursday.
Hope you're all having a fabulous day. I'm available for your calls.
Sending you angels,
Jane