The Online Dating Game...Ready? Set? Go!
There are so many different websites out there that promise to hold the love of your life, the mate of your dreams, and your 'soulmate' that it's difficult to determine exactly where to begin. But the real question is not "Which site do I join?" BUT - "Why are there no 'real' connections made?"
First off, you're trolling for fish in a false environment. Oh, sure the lake is filled with pretty blue water, and plenty of good looking fish, but the truth is that none of these fish are swimming in schools, they are loners.
Which brings me to my second point: Emotional availability. Because most of these fish are online looking for love, doesn't it make you wonder why? Maybe, just maybe it's because they are afraid to approach someone in person, and the computer provides a comfortable buffer. I have several clients that never even speak to the objects of their affection, but prefer to email or text message them. Hmmm. <<raises eyebrows>>.
Finally, the awesome profile. I feel that a majority of those online looking for love sit down and write what they WANT to be true about themselves, and not what actually IS. For example, many will say they are "in shape" and "athletic" when in fact, they are not. They hope that you will fall for their personality, so when you meet them in person, their physical appearance won't matter. *Beep* Next contestant!
The truth is that we live in a physical world, and online dating is like dating inside out. Yes, you CAN absolutely adore the person that you're chatting with or texting, but if you are not physically attracted to them, sorry - no amount of "inner beauty" is going to compensate for the fact that they out right lied to you about their physical appearance.
Online dating can certainly rupture your self-esteem if you enter into it with lofty expectations that the dating sites promise. If you go forward into online dating with NO expectations except to be distracted or meet a new friend here and there, you'll be so much more satisfied than if you expect to meet the person of your dreams.
Yes, you CAN meet someone online that you connect with and develop a
relationship with. Yes, it is possible. However, it is NOT
possible if you are not TRUTHFUL with yourself first. You must not
exaggerate in your profile about WHO you ARE. At the same time, we all
have things and quirks about a person that bother us, but be real for
crying out loud; don't put up an entire laundry list of what is acceptable and what isn't. And, for you to be really successful in your online dating, BE FLEXIBLE. Get rid of the "type" you normally go after, and be open to any and all. You never know!
I'm available for your calls today!
Sending you angels,
Jane