Keen Home  | Blog Policies  | Help
Welcome to Community Sign in | Join | Help

To Hold or Not to Hold onto the Cookie Jar?

Normal 0 Normal 0 Normal 0 ......Here’s the scene: You meet someone, you feel that instant chemistry, and *pow* the hormones kick in like you’ve never felt before. He asks you to go back to his place, and oh – say ‘view his etchings’ or some equally frail excuse to get you alone. You BOTH are pretty steamy for each other. Should you go? OR, should you decline, and go home with your cookie jar and wait?

 

A very unscientific survey that I conducted, based upon interviewing about 10 different single, unattached men which would he prefer? One: that you come with him, or, Two: wait for another time….9 out of the 10 said he would prefer it if you did NOT go home with him immediately after meeting him. (For the sake of definition this means within the evening).

 

Granted, most of the men I surveyed said that he would always welcome sex. However, most were also single, unattached, and unwittingly looking for someone special. One told me, “If a girl is willing to go home with me the night that I meet her – this is great for the moment, but doesn’t make me feel very special, and often I wonder how often she does this.”

 

I call it the “Cookie Jar”. If you meet someone that YOU think has potential, were interesting and you’d like to see more of him – keep the cookie jar in tact. Let HIM ask for YOUR phone number. Let HIM ask if it is okay to call you. And, if you really want to be the mysterious wonder creature, tell him that you don’t give out your number, but he can email you, or ask him for his number.

 

There’s nothing “old fashioned” in waiting to get intimate with someone. It has withstood the test of time, and ages. Fundamentally, men will respect women that have a high self-respect. When the time is right – then you can give up the cookie jar…. but only if it feels right to you. This is one time that you will need to ask yourself this: “Am I doing this so that he will like me more?” “How will I feel about myself?” “Do I really like him enough to be intimate with him at this point in the relationship?”. Take some time, pause, and reflect about how YOU feel.

 

 

*************************

Make it a Great Tuesday!

I’m available for your calls today!

Sending you angels,

Jane



 Angels fly because they take themselves lightly
Published Tuesday, July 15, 2008 9:33 AM by Jane Wilcox

Comment Notification

Subscribe to this post's comments using RSS

Comments

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 12:25 PM by Rosalea

# re: To Hold or Not to Hold onto the Cookie Jar?

Dear Jane:

This is a wonderful insightful way to discuss this topic.  I am so in agreement with all you suggest.  I believe that being a little selective and unavailable is wise especially since online dating has become so popular.  Get to know someone before sharing intimate moments!

Blessings to you Jane and thanks for the great blog as usual.

Rosie
Friday, August 01, 2008 7:11 PM by mustange

# re: To Hold or Not to Hold onto the Cookie Jar?

once again u r right. i treasure myself, and someone has to earn my love. no one loves me like i can.
Thursday, February 19, 2009 4:45 AM by WitchMissMolly

# re: To Hold or Not to Hold onto the Cookie Jar?

You are right.  I am married a year this April and I didn't give him cookies the first time he asked.  
Tuesday, March 03, 2009 4:51 AM by laura

# re: To Hold or Not to Hold onto the Cookie Jar?

so what do you do when a 15 year old girl thinks a 28 yr.man loves her and as a parent you know he is out for the cookies and has already had a few
Tuesday, March 03, 2009 1:55 PM by Jane Wilcox

# re: To Hold or Not to Hold onto the Cookie Jar?

TO LAURA: First, I'd call the police! Then have a lecture with your 15 year old and let her know that this guy is NOT going to hang around. (Especially if you have him hauled off). And, what's up with a 28 year old hanging out w/ a 15 yr old anyway????

What do you think?

(required) 
(required) 
(required) 
Enter the numbers you see into the
field below.
(required)