Was I talking while you were interrupting?
The Art of Communication. It is called "art" because communication is, by design, an art. It is a skillful use of words that, when combined, express thought, feeling, emotion, and ideas. Communication is also used to manipulate those same skillful use of words to destroy, demean, and belittle. Without a doubt, it is one of the most difficult skills to master; and more often than not, it is what lies between you and a great relationship.
Most of us don't know how to express what we are feeling. Most of us feel the NEED to express it, and get brain freeze as we search for the correct words to use. In afterthought, of course what we should have said comes quite easily.
We interrupt when we feel defensive, in an attempt to immediately gain control of the conversation to redirect it to our need. What we don't realize is that by interrupting, essentially what we're saying to the other person is "Your words are not important enough to listen to".
The fine art of communicating starts first when we master the finer art of LISTENING. By listening, hearing, and comprehending what the other person is saying, we allow ourselves to respond in a more appropriate way.
If we don't understand what we're hearing, do not interrupt the person talking. Respect them, and allow him/her to complete what their thought process is. Then ASK - "What I understand is......(insert your understanding).... is this correct?" or, "Are you saying...(insert your understanding)..." This demonstrates that we not only hear what they are saying, but also what our understanding is.
Listening, understanding, responding, asking. These components all make for a solid foundation for good communication skills. Oh, and I forgot one more: remain calm. Even if we don't like what we're being told, respect the person enough to hear them out.
I realize this only mildly touches on a subject that can go much deeper. However, most complaints that I personally hear come from those that are misunderstood, and say to me, "He/She never lets me get a word in edgewise". So, if your significant other truly is significant allow him/her to feel significant and don't interrupt.
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Happy Tuesday!
I'm available for your calls today!
Sending you angels,
Jane