When Less is More...........
She's 43. After a series of unfilled romantic encounters, she finally
got it. Less is more. She gave me a call the other day and said, "Jane,
this time I'm taking things slow". She had been reading my blogs that
have been splashed with various tid bits about jumping in the sack too
soon. This time, with this one, she's decided that maybe it would be
better to wait a while, get to know the guy, and actually decide if she
wanted to get involved with him.
As women, we are emotional creatures. Very seldom can a woman engage in
"casual encounters" without developing some sort of expectation and
emotions. There are exceptions to everything, and not ALL women will
embrace this concept, I know. I am proud of my friend whom, at 43, has
decided for herself that "casual encounters" are not serving her, and
leave her rather empty. She's holding onto her 'cookie jar' because
she's made the decision that HER cookies are valuable.
When we value ourselves, and put self-imposed boundaries around certain
activities - especially with new men that enter our lives, we do
discover waiting gifts us with tremendous rewards. First, you may find
out that you don't even like him. If he loses interest because you are
not hopping into the sack with him -well, gee - he really isn't worth
your time, anyway- right?
Second, as you get to know him you may actually start feeling
something, and want to explore more about him. As the two of you grow
together in the "discovery process" a closeness develops. Sex IS 99.9%
mental, anyway! By the time the relationship is ready to go further -
you just KNOW it will become something special.
Finally, this is not suggesting by any means that a game of using sex
to get him to stick around is what it's all about. Remember - this is
YOUR choice. It's about how much YOU respect yourself. The MORE you
respect yourself, the more likely your new interest is to respect you,
also. MUTUAL respect is a solid foundation for any relationship, and
ALL relationships that are to evolve into long-term commitments must be
built on solid footings. Ok, it may sound like dark-ages, but it's
worked for more couples than not.
Less IS more. More quality, more respect, and more exciting! As the
anticipation builds, you're building a great relationship in the
process of it all!
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Sending you angels,
Jane