Sometimes we are in a relationship already and we don't even know it!  Why?  He (in this case it is often a man) hasn't 'told' us yet that he is taking this dating/friendship/sex thing seriously so we are left to wonder where we stand.  We ask questions about when he is going to commit and we wonder if when he is distant if he has someone else on his mind (or in his bed). 

Often, the man in question, just isn't so good with self-expression.  He may be as confused as you are about the status of the relationship or how to move it to another level.  He just doesn't have a way with words and while he is attempting to 'figure it out' he may be getting pressure from us to commit. Why is our chatter about commitment dangerous early in the relationship? 

I've found that some men want to be 'the one' to make the decision about where the relationship goes.  Others just simply aren't ready or they have some serious baggage they need to leave behind before moving forward.  Waiting for these guys requires the patience of a saint and sometimes duct tape (hehe!). 

If he is treating you like a second-class citizen and no one knows you exist but him then it really is time to stop and think about the status of your 'relationship' and the place you hold in his life. If you feel like the one he calls when he has nothing else going on or he is interested in sex then you should question where it is going if you are uncomfortable in the situation. 

When it 'feels' like a relationship it probably is albeit an 'unannounced' one.  If you are unsure when it's the right time to 'ask' him about the status of your relationship give me or one of my fellow Keen advisors a call - we can help you understand what he is thinking and why!