It was one of the most awesome scenes in movie history. In Lawrence
of Arabia, Lawrence is headed
toward Aqaba, and notices that his assistant Gasmin's camel is without a rider.
He turns around to go back to look for him, in the deadly Sun's Anvil, which is
filled with churning dust storms. His friend Ali implores him not to go
back, stating, "Gasmin's time has come. It is written." Lawrence
replies, "Nothing is written."
Lawrence does go
back through the Sun's Anvil and rescue his assistant. As they arrive at the
oasis, the parched, sun-baked Lawrence
falls to the ground, looks up proudly, and repeats: "Nothing is
written."
Unfortunately (and amazingly) in today's society, there are
many who feel that just about everything is foreordained, from stubbing your
toe on a rock to meeting your "soulmate."
There is a common misconception that everything has already
happened. Sort of like the universe is a book that's already been written, and
we're merely characters acting out our roles. Therefore, it should be easy for
a "real psychic" to beam forward a year or two, take a look at your
life, and come back and say, "Yes, Jim called you on February 4, 2008 at
3:15 PM Eastern Standard Time."
Now, if this is your belief, when's the last time you saw a
headline reading, "Psychic Wins Lottery"? I mean, wouldn't it be a
piece of cake for the great Jon Constantine to fast forward a month, see the
winning numbers, and run to 7-11 to pick up a few mil? Noooope! There's a
problem with the future -- it hasn't happened yet. Lottery numbers fall at
random. Since they will fall at random in a future that has not happened yet,
they cannot be predicted with any degree of accuracy. So you're stuck with me
for a while.
The problem is there are many people who want to eat their
cake and have it too. "I see you losing you're job," say
I. "Yes, you're without a job."
"Why?" you ask. "Your boss is upset over you coming in late.
He's fed up with it." So you figure, "That's an easy one" and
start showing up early and working hard. The prediction is thwarted, your job
is safe. Maybe you even get a raise.
The other side of the coin is, "When is Larry going to
call?' "He hasn't decided yet." "What do you mean? Look ahead;
when do you see him calling me?" "That's up to him. He will call, but
he hasn't decided whether to call before or after the weekend." "Oh,
the free-will copout."
The way it generally works is like this: About fifty percent
of your life is controlled directly by free-will -- yours and that of the
people in your life. About 25 percent is destiny, or things that you can't
change. This can include meeting certain people with whom you have
"agreements," your genetics, where you were born, etc. The other 25
percent is random events; i.e., being in the right place at the right time, the
luck of the draw, and so on.
While the exact percentages are different for everybody, here's a simplified map of your life:
Let's take one subject that isn't that pleasant: death. I
mention this because, for most of us, the time and method is preordained. Most
people who lose someone can see, instinctively, that is was this person's
"time." However, this can occasionally be modified by our own free
will (smoking 50 cigarettes a day, for example), the free will of others
(murder), or random events (an accident).
In relationships, sometimes we are supposed to meet a
person, but it just doesn't work out. The experiences of this particular
lifetime influence our actions and decisions, and we're not forced to be
together. Other times, we take up with someone new.
But the bottom line is that the vast majority of times we
aren't locked into something that was "meant to be." We do have
control. The trick is having the patience to accept the things that we cannot
change, the courage to change the things we can and, most of all, the wisdom to
know the difference.