Ain't I Elegant?
The subject of manners isn't brought up much anymore, and for good reason. It's dull.
Most of us consult an etiquette book only before our weddings. And even then, what good does it do? Fist fights break out among the elderly aunties, anyway.
In this month's "Gentleman's Quarterly," an article proposed that since modern life has become so complicated and high-tech, there is only one way to determine the right thing to do: Figure out the kindest thing to do.
For example, it details the kindest way to break up with a woman. Don't be cruel, the writer says, by being so emotionally distant that she finally has to break up with you. Don't make her do your dirty work. You won't find words like that in an etiquette book!
For another example, the author writes, don't litter your lunch table with all of your electronic devices. By doing so, you're announcing to your lunch companions that any outside communication is preferable to speaking with them.
(By the way, the next person who puts a finger in my face and says, "hold on," while he answers a cell phone, is only going to be able to count to nine for the rest of his life.)
But I digress.
Isn't it funny and great that the distance between us, created by iPods, phones, laptops (and whatever else they invented last night, while I was sleeping), has necessitated our becoming more human than ever?
No one has time for a stuffy book of manners, so we're going to have to wing it - by just being kind.