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Rose Buds

What My Keen Callers Teach Me

Do Something Else

"Do something else" is a code phrase between my best friend and myself.  It originated from a tragic circumstance.

When my younger brother John was a teenager, a pal of his commited suicide.

In his grief, John wailed, "Why didn't he just do something else?"

My pal and I, teenagers ourselves, asked, "What do you mean?"

John said, "I mean switch schools.  Learn to play the guitar.  Apply to study in Greece.  Ask out girls until one of them said 'yes'.  Play hockey.  Switch shrinks.  Visit relatives in another town and see the sites.  Listen to lots of music until something moved him.  Go through the library until he found a book that really delighted him.  Why didn't he just do something else?"

My pal grew up to be a psychologist, and she tells me that she often thinks about this plaintive statement of a 15-year-old boy.

Granted, it is simplistic, and it hardly applies to people who are desperate and disconnected enough to consider suicide.

But I've always used it for myself whenever I have suddenly realized that I am just plain miserable.  What can I do that is Something Different?

Speaking for myself, I get tired of the women's magazines that tell me to take a bubble bath and have a pedicure.  What is this, 1951?  Shall I beg my husband Ricky Ricardo to buy me a new flowered hat, too?

I'd rather have a thick, juicy new book and the time to read it.  Theatre, movies - anything having to do with the arts.  Your list will be as specific to you as mine is to me.

In short, I Do Something Else.

This advice is too trivial for the severly depressed, of course, but I think it is good advice for those of us who suffer with occasional dreariness.

That John - who would have thought he had such good advice? 

Now, if I could only get him to stop putting my head in a hammerlock... 

Published Tuesday, September 09, 2008 9:06 PM by Lady Rose 2001

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Comments

# re: Do Something Else @ Wednesday, September 10, 2008 9:49 AM

That was a beautiful message.  It is one that always bears repeating.  I know that when I am down in the dumps moderately or severely from time to time, I have found that if I try to focus on ANYTHING other than myself and even do something for someone else, it lifts me out of that terrible dark fog.  Distraction is good and you make an excellent point; for some it may be just enough to allow them to get professional help they may need.  Thank you for a great post!  -Margaret

Crystal Tarot33

# re: Do Something Else @ Monday, October 06, 2008 9:09 PM

Rose this is the first time I've read your blog and your writing style is just delightful.  I appreciate your brother's view and know I will adopt "do something else" whenever I'm getting stuck on a negative.  Thanks for sharing~Kate

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