How to Want Something
I thought I knew how to want things, until I learned the following lesson.
When I met my husband 107 years ago, I learned that he was a vintage and modern car buff. Being a city kid, I had never owned a car, and couldn't have cared less about them.
He asked me, "If you could have any kind of car in the world, which would you want?"
I said, "I dunno. Whatever I could afford." (I had been broke since birth. I didn't have much imagination when it came to spending money. I still don't.)
He said, "Well, foreign or domestic?"
I said, "I dunno."
He said, "Well, new or vintage?"
I said, "I dunno."
He sighed. "Sporty or sensible?"
Together we said, "I dunno."
Then he said something to me that has always stayed with me.
"The problem with you, Rose, is that you don't know how to want anything."
I asked him how a person went about wanting something.
He told me to break it down, using the car as a metaphor. What is your favorite color? What makes you feel magical? What taps immediately into your sense of fun?
Ever since I've used this blueprint for every "fun" decision.
Why?
Because I think many of us, including me, get so caught up in the drudgery of daily life that we forget what we want, or wanted. We think about what we need; what we have to do next; where we have to go.
That's why I think it's a good idea to keep our "What I Want" list right in our frontal lobes, for the next time someone asks us what we want - whenever that might be!
When we forget to yearn, wish and hope, we become those dreary types who get caught off guard and say, "I don't want anything. Skip me. Don't worry about me. I'll just sit here and eat a cracker while the rest of you have fun."
Here is my list:
Does it make me feel alive with the magic of life?
Does it have something to do with glamorous old movies?
Is it black or white?
Does it not involve cooking, washing dishes or cleaning bathrooms?
Can I do it barefoot? (This is negotiable.)
(Oh, and by the way, after that long-ago conversation with my husband-to-be, I chose as my dream car a Packard, black with white upholstery, just like the one owned by glamorous 1930's movie star Carole Lombard! After all, a girl can dream, can't she?)