I Love Lucy's Husband
I am a comedy junkie. Anybody who even attempts to make me laugh has a permanent spot in my heart. And as much as I love Lucy (for those of you who live on Saturn, that's actress Lucille Ball and her television series "I Love Lucy"), I love her husband, Desi Arnaz, even more.
This intelligent, innovative man is only now getting the credit he deserves - years after his death. Most people remember him as "Ricky Ricardo," Lucy Ricardo's husband. But he also developed the three-camera method for filming television shows, was a gifted story constructionist, a film and television mogul, and a musician.
I write of him now because one of his philosophies of life is the same as one of my Tarot cards. According to his daughter, he used to say, "When you don't know what to do, do nothing."
There is a Tarot card that means the same thing - with a twist.
What this card means is that my Keen Caller does not have all of the information necessary to make a decision at this time. Therefore, attempting to make a decision is ridiculous. It's like planning to go for a bike ride when one doesn't have a bike.
This card means that my Caller should wait a day or two - because more information is on its way. And once that information arrives on my Caller's doorstep, she can make an intelligent, informed decision.
I love this card because I think it is particularly useful to women.
In difficult situations, sometimes an indecisive group of people will light a fire under any available woman, so she will react. "I won't do this! I will do that!"
Then the situation changes. It shifts and becomes Paula's Problem, or Annie's Attitude. And then everyone cops out by reacting to That Difficult Woman, instead of dealing with the real situation.
I think that women should shrug their shoulders more often. I think that the next time someone comes thundering into your office, cubicle or kitchen, screaming, "What do YOU think?!" you should say, "Oh, I don't know. Let's wait a few days and see what happens."
I've done it, with surprising results.
Sitting on the bench with everyone else makes people to contribute information. This makes things evolve into a much more productive (and less stressful) situations. Information pours in, and the solution almost presents itself. And the woman doesn't have to endure the stress of having been a faux problem.
Of course, some people are real street fighters when it comes to denial, and they won't offer information. Their hope springs eternal. However, if the woman stands firm, these people will be forced to deal with the truth. Either way, it won't be about the woman.
Of course, we can't all sit on the bench all the time. I'm just suggesting that the next time someone tries to light a fire under you, take a good look around and see who might possibly benefit from a situation that has suddenly become All About You.
When you don't know what to do, do nothing. Or, sing "Babalu"!