If Women Spoke as Men Do
Man: What are you cooking?
Woman: Who, me?
Man: Yes, you.
[Silence.]
Man: Well?
Woman: Well, what?
Man: What are you cooking?
Woman: Food.
Man: What is the name of the dish that you are making, please?
Woman: It doesn't have a name.
Man: Okay. What is in the dish?
Woman: It's not really a dish.
Man: What is it?
Woman: I don't know.
[Silence.]
Man: Well?
Woman: Well, what?
Man: Tell me the ingredients in whatever it is that you are cooking.
Woman: It's not really cooking, exactly.
Man: Just tell me the ingredients.
Woman: They're not really ingredients, exactly.
Man: What are they?
Woman: Just some leftovers I found in the fridge.
Man: So you made a cheap tart.
Woman: Those are your ugly words, not mine.
Man: And you made this cheap tart because it was there.
Woman: I didn't plan it; it just happened.
Man: Do you love it?
Woman: How do I know? I haven't had it yet.
Man: Oh, I find that hard to believe.
Woman: Believe what you want.
Man: Boy, you can really dish it out.
Woman: I sure can. Here, take your plate.
Man: Yeah! Let's eat!
Woman: Eat what?