No Guts, No Story
Do you remember when women couldn't be funny? I do.
In the fifties and sixties, women were just beginning to use humor to express themselves. Joan Rivers came on the scene. Believe it or not, her comedic persona was that of a young, single girl who was having trouble finding a guy. My, how time flies! My favorite Rivers joke: "I do anything the magazines tell me to do. If Vogue magazine says boobs in the back, done!"
There were comediennes who came before her, like Totie Fields, Jackie "Moms" Mabley, Selma Diamond and Martha Raye, among many others.
But ordinary women struggled with humor, because some people were intimidated by funny women. Women were scared of frightening people, especially their husbands.
Not my mother. My mother was unusually funny in that her humor was what I call "straight-ahead humor." By that I mean, she didn't fall into the most common trap that women still fall into. She didn't try to market being loud or obvious or dirty as being "an outrageous woman!"
After all, when a man is loud or obvious or dirty, he doesn't get points for being outrageous. He's just boorish.
No, she delivered the funny.
All of this became very clear to me one day when I was a pre-teen. I went to a friend's home for dinner, where my friend and I helped prepare the meal. My friend's mother was like mine - a straight-shooting, funny woman.
Then her husband came home, and she turned into someone else. She became a combination little girl and village idiot.
The father sat, surly and silent, at the head of the table. The mother made conversation with thin air. Whenever her sense of humor slipped out, she would call herself names: "Oh, there I go, being wacky again, saying goofy things! I'm such an airhead!"
I hightailed it home and asked my mother, "What was that about? She was a funny grown-up, and then she turned into a stupid little girl!"
My mother summed it up neatly: "No guts."
It was true. My friend's mother had clever anecdotes to share with her husband, and funny tales to tell. But -
No guts, no story.