You Might Have a Point
Hello! Thank you for dropping by. I appreciate it.
In my seven years as a Tarot reader on Keen, I have learned something positive from almost every caller. I would like to use this blog to share these "Rose Buds" with you. (Of course, I'll never mention a name or a date.)
You have probably heard about how people can "project" their feelings onto others.
It is commonly assumed that the emotions others project onto us are invariably wrong. However, one Keen caller taught me how another person can tune into your feelings long before you do.
Sometimes these emotions are unattractive or "unacceptable," so we fight displaying them - or even feeling them! However, common sense prevails, and other people correctly assume what our feelings should be.
My caller, a young man, raced me through a five-minute reading. I didn't mind. I enjoy the challenge of a super-fast reading. I keep my rates low for the same reason - everyone on every kind of budget should be able to enjoy a few moments with the Tarot.
After the call, the young man sent an e-mail to me, in which he asked the same questions he had asked in the call. I answered the mail at length - and for free. I also made several positive suggestions as to what he could do to understand his unhappy situation a little better.
Writing to him took a little time, but I am in the people business. If I didn't enjoy people, I'd get a job testing soundproof booths for game shows.
He quickly savaged me in the feedback he left on my site, saying that in my e-mail I accused him of wasting my time. Of course, I would never say anything so rude to a client - or anyone else, really.
I was puzzled by why he had chosen to lie. Then I remembered something my good friend once told me.
My friend is a psychologist, and she observed that sometimes the attitudes and opinions that people project onto one another are absolutely true and correct. However, if the emotions are unpleasant ones, we tend to deny, and to defend ourselves.
I'll be darned - my caller was right. He had wasted my time. I had just been too polite to notice!
It made me wonder - how many times do people tell us the absolute truth about a situation by accusing us of already knowing the score?
The hurtful boyfriend says, "You're not jealous, are you?"
The bore asks, "I'm not boring you, am I?"
The mooch says, "You don't mind if I borrow this, do you?"
This is what I learned from this call: The next time someone accuses me of having an unpleasant, "unacceptable" emotion, I am not going to immediately defend myself.
I am going to take a breath, look him straight in the eye and say, "You might have a point."