We've all experienced it.  Say you approach your dude and say, "Hey, I am so HOT under the collar because you didn't help me fix the garbage disposal.  I had to WING it myself!"

Does he get excited and say, "Hot wings?" or "I'm hot for you, too, baby"? 

Have you ever yelled, "Exactly when are you going to Stop Playing that Nauseating football video game and mow the lawn," only to hear, "What's on ESPN?"

This is called selective hearing.

Selective hearing is not gender specific and occurs everywhere.  Take my job, for instance.

I have callers that ask the ubiquitious question, "When's he gonna call," and when I tell them he's calling next Wednesday, but it's only to see when he can pick up his Star Wars DVD collection, all they hear is, "Next Wednesday life will be good again."

I once had a caller ask if her ex would come back, and I told her, "Yes, absolutely, but you have to leave him alone.  Stop calling him and hounding him IMMEDIATELY."  She then proceeded to break into his house and harass him, and a month later called back to yell at me because he didn't come back like I told her he would.

Or how many of us have said to our kids, "We can go to McDonald's this afternoon after you clean your room, only to have them hear, "McDonald's -- this afternoon!"

Now selective hearing tends to be something that is manifested through the brain, not the ears.  It brings certain relevant-to-the-listener things to the forefront and pushes the irrelevant information to the back.

So lately, we've looked at many different communication problems and how to get across our thoughts and feelings to Mr. Dude of Wonder.  But how do we combat selective hearing?  

Sure, we can use the usual tools, wait for a good time, don't spew, lure him into a talk under the guise of taking a walk or a drive.  But unfortunately, selective hearing is an incurable disease.  There is no trick or answer to this problem. 

Really, he can't help it.  So forgive poor Mr. Dude next time you yell, "Say, Dude, EXactly when are you going take out the garbage," and he jumps up grinning, but instead of heading to the kitchen garbage, he heads to the bedroom.  At least we're assured of one thing:  Should you choose to join him, you most certainly will have his full attention.