"When is he going to change?"  I get asked this question all the time. 

 
"When is my quiet, nonemotional guy who breaks out in a rash every time the word 'love' is uttered  going to start crooning 'Feelings' to me and spill his guts?"
 
"When is he going to dump his mother and date me exclusively?"
 
"When is he going to stop calling me at midnight for a bootie call and tell me he loves me?" 
 
"WHEN IS HE GOING TO MAKE ALL THE CHANGES AND BE WHO I WANT??????"
 
Of course, what woman doesn't want to change at least one little thing about their man -- and truth be told, most of us can pull out a bucketful of changes we'd like.   
 
First of all, if you don't like him, what are you doing with him?  Okay, why am I even asking you that -- cause you looooooove him.  You've never felt so connected to a person before.  You just know he's your soulmate, you just know it. 
 
But still, if you are asking about all these changes, shouldn't you be looking at one of the basic necessities of a relationship -- Do you "like" him?  Love doesn't count for the moment, do you like him, do you really like him?  Do you enjoy spending time together, or are you waiting on pins and needles waiting for him to call, and then hang up with heartburn?
 
Well, let's grab that extra large bottle of Tums and talk here.
 
Let's look at the situation again.  Is he a nice, decent guy that calls consistently and does little sweet things for you, he's just not verbalizing the way you'd like?    Do you really want one of those "love ya, baby" types that are free with the words but short on the actions?  In other words, would you rather have a guy that demonstrates his love through action and devotion or someone who verbalizes but it means about as much to him as sneezing? 
 
Or how about the guy who just calls for a bootie call?  If you met this guy and you immediately fell into a rousing game of tickle and poke, don't be surprised if he enjoyed the woman he found that just wants sex with no entanglement.  That's the impression you've given him. Why are you surprised?  If you act like this is what you want and nothing is wrong, that is precisely how he's going to treat you.
 
The guy who can't let go of his mother, you -- forget it.  Let's face it. You've got trouble. 
 
You can't pick and choose or do "design your own" when it comes to men.  You can't say, "Oh, here's a guy the right age, he's breathing, so he'll do," and then proceed to mold him into exactly what you want.  You can't add a pinch of this and a tablespoon of that. 
 
The only person that can change is you -- or him, if he wishes to.  I mean, would you like it if the guy came in and said to perfect little you, "Would you mind getting a boob job, learn how to cook and become mute?"
 
You may looooooove him, but if you don't like him as a person and you two don't enjoy each other or your time together, it just might be time to move on.
 
If I could change him for you, I'd pull out my magic wand right here and now and swish and flick Mr. Dude into exactly what you want.  But I can't. 
 
So the answer to the question, "When's he gonna change"?  Honestly?  Oh, probably his next lifetime.  But of course if he's going come back and be all that perfect, you know darn well it's because he was reincarnated as a woman.