Say he tells you you're beautiful on the first date and doesn't mention it again. Three months later, you are going to be wondering why he doesn't think you're pretty.

But if on the first date he says, "OMG, I didn't know they made jeans that big," three months from now, even if you had the good sense to dump the dude, you're still going to be walking backwards and feeling insecure.

With women, compliments are like milk, they expire quickly, but if he even makes an off-hand remark that can possibly be taken as an insult, we can quote chapter and verse a year later. 

I was just reminded the other day that I got a lovely Valentine card with a romantic poem composed specifically for me by mi amour, and although I loved it and read it about a gazillion times, all I could think of was, "Is he kidding me?  Is he still trying to cash in on that on a month and a half later?"

When you think about it, does this really make sense?  Ummm, no.  I suppose it shows insecurity on our part, and I could go into a dissertation on women's insecurities due to media or men's seeming heavy emphasis on a woman's appearance, but for here and now, I'm just going to say, it's just the way we're built.

I don't even think it's fair, to be honest, but forewarned is forearmed, men - deal with it.

But when I was thinking about it the other day, I realized, relationships are sort of like finances.  If you don't invest, you can't possibly get a return.

Sometimes we make bad investments.  We love someone incapable or unwilling to love us back.  Sometimes we repeatedly follow this same pattern.  It's sort of like the person addicted to gambling.  He might win a few here and there by betting on the long shot, but it's a temporary victory, temporary fix, and he usually ends up losing big time.  But if he takes that same money and invests it in safe investments or even puts it in an account with a decent rate of return, of course there's no guarantee, but chances are, he's going to reap some dividends or interest.

Let's look at the baby crying.  If your face is the one it sees in the middle of the night, changing its diaper, feeding it, nurturing it, loving it and helping it grow, chances are good that same child won't throw your butt in a nursing home in your old age at the first sign of drool - no guarantee, but at the very least, they'd have some modicum of guilt.

Or back to my Valentine example.  If all I got was that Valentine card and nothing else, and he just kept pointing at that Valentine card for months, that card is not going to end up in a place that he'd appreciate.  If, however, this man is intelligent and follows up that card with regular phone calls and every day loving words and acts, he is going to receive many happy returns. 

I guess what I'm saying is to get love, you have to give love.  And love is the best investment I can think of, no guarantee, but if you direct it in the right place, it's just going to grow and grow.

P.S.  In case you're wondering, my Valentine is very intelligent ;)