Frequently I have callers who are confused as to the nature of their relationship, i.e., in the immortal words of Jessica Simpson, "Is this chicken, or is this fish, what I have?" 

 
To put it another way, is it friendship or is it relationship?
 
Ideally, in a relationship, you will have both.  Although there are many definitions and kinds of friendships and relationships, and they don't have to be mutually exclusive, there is one common denominator:  It has to be mutual. 
 
Usually friends are there for each other.  If you have a problem, you can call them.  At the very least, they will listen and they will care.  You can take turns leaning on each other in times of trouble.  Friends don't lie, cheat or steal from you or walk away leaving you in a sea of despair.  Man or woman, if they treat you in this manner, make no mistake about the fact that they are not your friend. You may love a man that does that to you, but I doubt if you like him.   He is not your friend.  
 
Contrary to "When Harry Met Sally," I've had many male friends I'm convinced don't secretly want to have sex with me -- especially the ones that already have boyfriends. I've had great male friends.  The problem comes when one or the other wants more, or when one party decides they no longer want to continue the love part of the relationship.  Whether the dreaded words "Let's just be friends" are uttered by a man or a woman, nobody likes to hear them.  
 
I've done readings where the words "Let's be friends" are a joke and I know that the relationship will quickly resume, but more times than not, they are a death knell to the relationship.  I've also been outraged when I've heard of a man who has treated a woman abominably in a relationship utter those words.  Since when was he EVER a friend before?  Showing kindness and compassion of a friendship, that would be a BIG improvement.
 
Strangely, although both men and women utter these same exact words, they seem to have completely different meanings.  So let's translate "Let's just be friends."
 
Dudette:  "We can hang out, and you can adore me, but there will be no sex."
Dude:  "We can have sex, but there will be no hanging out and don't make any demands on me."
 
These are very dangerous waters should you dare to tread in the sea of booty call.  I've met very few women that can actually have sex with no emotional involvement.  While we may be thinking, "If I have sex with him, he will love me,"  he is thinking, "Cool, sex."   
 
Another problem I've run across is the friendship where the woman wants more and either Dude-Of-Desire doesn't feel the same or it hasn't evolved to a romantic relationship yet.  So if it's not mutual, don't try to treat him like a boyfriend.
 
Here's an example:  Say Mr. Dude-Of-Desire says, "Let's go sometime to that cool new movie that's coming out," (note the word "sometime") and then he doesn't call and firm up the plans and a week goes by.  You go ballistic, cry, get pissy with him because he didn't follow up immediately, and become resolutely convinced that he thinks you're fat.
 
Here's a test to see if your reaction is out of line.  If that was your good friend Sue that suggested going to the movies sometime and she didn't follow through right away, would you have behaved like a lunatic?
 
You just can't unilaterally decide he's your boyfriend and expect him to treat you  as a girlfriend just because you want him to.  His buddies wouldn't have thought twice about it had he done the same to them.  And as for you, It's a surefire method of making sure it will never evolve into more. 
 
Yes, it's a complicated world out there, with men and women speaking different languages, being from different planets, and different fruits and even different animals.  But I've managed to figure out at least three things:    Friendship is a two-way street; always, always use moisturizer; and you're in deep trouble if you can't figure out the difference between chicken and fish.