In almost every call, I hear the question, "How is he feeling about me?"  Now this is not the least bit unreasonable for a couple of reasons:  1.  Most callers are women, and we just looooooove labels; and 2.  Ummm, that's one of my bylines, "How does he feel about me?"  Okay, so I set myself up for it.

 
The way I work, I pull energies into me, and then comes the tricky part, translating it into words.  Believe me, not easy.  Something akin to translating Swahili or  describing color to a blind person.  Oh, and add to that that what we feel and they feel -- apples and oranges.
 
As women, we want definition, we want security, we want to pigeonholed feelings, we want LABELS!  Are we dating or are we just friends?  Does he love me?  Does he think about me?  When he is going to commit (which could mean anything from ask me on a date, date me excusively to marry me)?
 
Now this job would be so easy, were it not for one simple fact:  Men are allergic to labels.  Naturally, this presents a big problem when not only do we want labels, but we want them shouted from the rooftops.
 
You're saying, "Does he think of me?"  And when I look into his mind, he's thinking, "Wow, those socks are standing up on their own and the dog just passed out.  Time to do laundry."
 
My oft-quoted grandmother used to have a saying, "To a woman, the man is her whole life.  To a man, the woman is just a small part of his life." 
 
Let me put it another way.  You know that old study that showed that men thought of sex like every 3.2 seconds?  After doing a little bit of a scientific study -- which consisted of me saying, "Yo, Dude.  What's up with that?" -- I have come to the conclusion that it isn't true.  What is true is that it's swimming around in the back of their minds at all times, ready to be pulled to the forefront at the least provocation, say, a flea winks at them.
 
We're the same way when it comes to Mr. Dude.  They're swimming around there 24/7 and we need absolutely no provocation to bring it to the forefront other than the fact that 10 seconds went by.
 
Now why is it that men are so allergic to labels?  Again, I turned to my very exacting scientific study methods.  I asked.
 
I stumbled on to something one morning when I was having a discussion with my Mr. Dude.  I was lamenting the fact of how men and women were so very different in our thinking and expections, and out of frustration, asked, "Why are you guys like that anyway?" (Picture this said in distinctive whine).
 
Mr. Dude said something amazingly simple, yet brilliant, "We were read different fairytales when we were little."
 
I really don't think he realized what he had said, but it really got me thinking, which in his book, is a very dangerous pursuit given my imagination.  Since the days of the caveman, what have men represented?  The provider!  Unless they're feeling together, whole and provider-like, they're loathe to commit.
 
Yes, both you and I know that you know what's best for him (which quite obviously is you).  It's so simple.  You can help him both discover his goals and meet them, just whip that boy into shape so he is in a position to commit.  But he won't let you.  
 
What a collosol waste.  Why not?  It seems he already has a mommy, and I believe he left her at home with Dad.  Do you really want to be his mommy?  How many times have you heard of the guy who, once the woman helps him struggle through medical school and get his practice going, dumps her for someone else?  He is very grateful to the woman that brought him and helped him get himself established, but really, which woman would you rather be? 
 
So stop trying to force the issue, stop trying to help so much.  Understanding is half the issue.  If your Mr. Dude is not feeling complete or at a point in his life where he knows where he's going and how to get there, he's unlikely to be ready to commit.
 
And next time you call your favorite psychic, be kind when she's trying to translate Swahili, or your man's feelings in a manner that is palatable to the female psyche.