Happiness is Overrated
We hear it everywhere, "Do you want to be happy?" "I want to be happy." "I'm just not happy." "Everyone else is happy. How come I'm not happy?"
Happy, happy, happy. Happy, schmappy. Some days I think if I hear that word misused and overused one more time, I'm going to -- hmmm, scream is soooo cliche -- I think I'll go punch out one of those little smiley faces.
Nobody walks around happy all the time. If they tell you they do, they're lying - with the possible exception of Hugh Hefner on Viagra. In the world of Laurie (yes, sometimes a sick and twisted place), satisfaction is where it's at.
Am I satisfied with my life? Do I like where I'm living, what I'm doing and who I'm loving? Can I spend time alone and be perfectly okay? Can I find satisfaction in fulfilling my responsibilities, even though at this moment, it might not be what I prefer to be doing?
If you can answer yes, you are satisfied with yourself and have attained a sense of peace, peace within. To me, happy comes in spurts, moments, occasions -- after a great call on Keen where I feel I made a difference in someone's life, a good laugh, a delicious piece of cake (chocolate, of course), being proud of my daughter, or just the simplicity of feeling warm and loved.
So often lately, I've noted people reaching for the elusive happiness, and not feeling the satisfaction and peace with what they have in the N-O-W. If only they had money, love, a house, car, whatever, THEN and only then, will they be happy foreverafter.
I spoke to someone a while back who was unhappy because she hadn't met "the dude." So we looked at her life, and we found that she was at a truly good spot in her life -- a good job, liked where she lived, precious pets she loved to death, family nearby, and plenty of friends to do things with.
But no partner to share it with. Now it's pure human instinct to want to be loved, so of course it would be a lie to say she didn't desire that. But really, life wasn't so bad. She knew bad. She'd visited that dark place a couple of times in her last relationships. And that dark and angst-filled place was one she learned a lot from and had left far behind, with no desire to revisit.
But at the moment we spoke, she didn't care. She said, "One bad apple spoils the bunch," meaning, "I'm so taken up with what I don't have, it's spoiling everything else. Because, after all, 'everyone else' around me is happy."
This brought to mind a conversation I had a lifetime ago when I first got married, when a coworker said to me, "What's the best thing about being married?" I got this warm and squishy feeling inside and replied, "Someone is there, all the time."
Then she asked, "Okay. Now answer this one -- what's the worst thing about being married?" After thinking about it, I said, "Someone is there, ALL THE DARN TIME!"
And this point was brought home by my daughter the other day. Going into her senior year in high school, she's facing the daunting task of doing college applications, her senior thesis, and her entire future. Frustrated, she whined, "Mom, I wish I could just go back to elementary school," not realizing in elementary school, she was chomping at the bit, anxious to grow up and experience the freedoms that come with age and responsibility instead of enjoying the carefree life that only exists in childhood.
And what an exciting time of life she's at now, with so much yet to unfold!
My point is, there is "good" and "bad" in everything, every phase of our lives.
So to my dear caller, and those of you just like her, just work on peace within, satisfaction with yourself. Just because Mr. Dream Dude isn't here right now, doesn't mean you can't enjoy your freedom. Soon enough, you will experience love, with its joys and its sorrows.
Soon enough, you'll have someone you'll have to compromise with, to think of and to take into consideration. You won't be able to leave that wet towel on the bathroom floor or wear those granny panties when all your clothes are dirty. So live on the wild side, throw the towel on the floor, eat pickles for dinner, watch a chick flick and cry -- ENJOY.
And let me give you a little hint: There is nobody on earth more attractive to others than someone that is confident, secure and satisfied within. If you can attain that goal, you'll be a dude magnet.