You know the infamous straw to which I refer, that one final straw that offed the camel. Camel abuse!
You may know you're fighting an uphill battle, but still you keep marching on, with no sight of the summit in view. But the question of the day is, when do you stop, turn back -- when do you know when you've reached YOUR summit, when YOUR camel can't take it anymore?
I get asked the same question again and again, "Is this worth it?" The problem is, I can only tell you what I see coming up. The question of if it's worth it for you to hang in there, only YOU can answer.
Since I had been thinking about the dearly departed camel for a while, I decided to take an informal poll and ask a few callers, "What did it for you?"
One caller had been in a married man situation who had led her on for three years. She just happened to be up very late one night and watched the television show "Cheaters." According to her, it bothered her to see the injured party, but in this case, she felt the marriage was already dead.
The thing that caused the dromedary's demise was she noticed there were two scenarios when caught: A. Cheater Dude told his wife the marriage was over; B. Cheater Dude ran crying after the wife begging forgiveness, leaving other woman in the dust.
She realized what she had was B Dude. After three years, the light bulb went on, the camel collapsed and she saw that her uphill climb would never end.
Another caller phoned Neglectful Dude from her hospital bed to inform him of her medical emergency, only to be told that he was tired and he'd talk to her later -- which turned out to be two weeks later. He had consistently neglected her, broken up with her repeatedly, and unilaterally and spontaneously changed the rules of the relationship numerous times, but still our heroine persevered up the slippery slope, with a backpack full of straw and dragging a lagging camel behind her.
Neglectful Dude's total lack of concern for her plight in the hospital -- something that concerned even her most casual acquaintances -- broke the poor camel's vertebra in two.
Yet another caller found out -- on her birthday no less -- that her Wanderlust Dude had been cheating on her, but still, that merely put a strain on said camel. What did it for her was when the object of his current affection wrote to our girl badmouthing her, and after five years, this Unworthy Dude didn't defend her or stand behind her, just let the new girl rip her apart.
Humorous part is now that she finds him Nothing-Less-Than-Disgusting Dude, he now calls her, wanting to get back together. However, since her camel has been cremated, it's far too late for a fairytale ride across the desert together.
My last example is a caller who was engaged to Deadbeat Dude who claimed to be wealthy, but kept having issues getting ahold of his liquid assets. She eventually found out that he had extremely serious money problems, including a judgment against him for hundreds of thousands of dollars and a million-dollar tax lien.
Turned out when she looked back, she had supported him for a year. Still, this camel said, "Bring it on." But what finally snuffed her dromedary was the night she came home and found out that he had made himself dinner, and left her five-year-old daughter to fend for herself.
Every one of these women had warning signs along the way, so many warning signs that truthfully, those of us reading this are screaming, "HELLO???!?? What were you thinking?"
But in their minds, good times were just around the corner, or they'd excuse just this one little thing. The thinking behind this is, "I don't want to hurt. I'll hang in instead."
I speak to so many callers, and while I tell them what I see coming up, they still have trouble making that decision themselves, and I can't in all good conscience make the decision to dump the dude for them. Only they know when enough's enough.
One thing that can help you get clarity when your camel is pleading for mercy is to get out your handy dandy notebook and write. Just write down all the little things that Last Straw Dude has done. You know what I mean. Everyone's done something, but those really outrageous acts that really sincerely hurt you.
When you finish, if you find yourself looking at your entries and realizing that indeed, 2 + 2 still equal 4, or if you broke up with him, your friends and family would not only throw a ticker tape parade but petition to have that day declared a national holiday, it just may be time to put that camel out of its misery.
If you've given up on Loser Dude but still can't bring yourself to close this chapter, take heart. If there's one thing that's true, love isn't logical, and you just might not be ready.
In that case, keep your notebook out and a stack of straws by your side.
Remember, you could choose to run off and live happily ever after with your camel. After all, dudes can sometimes be overrated anyway.
So what broke your camel's back? Please share.