I want it all and I want it all NOW!
Everybody sing, "Schoooooool's out - for - the summer!" Well, that is if you don't count summer school.
In most parts of the country, I believe summer school is only there for those that have failed or not done well during the school year and have need to repeat. Punishment.
In my over-achieving locale, all the kids go to summer school. Not because they failed, but to get ahead. I remember in Katie's elementary school a teacher telling me they didn't have time to teach the kids the times tables, that was up to the parents. The teachers would just test them on it.
So Katie goes to summer school, this year taking World History. Her choice! Why? Because she can get an entire year-long class finished in an intensive six weeks, which will free her up to take her college courses in her junior year of high school.
Yes, junior year is no longer about junior year. You take AP (advanced placement) courses, take the test at the end of the year and voila, college courses are now out of the way. She's a smart kid, but no, she is not Doogie Howser. This is somehow considered the norm here and anything less is failure.
So I've been thinking, if we start our kids off right, get them right into school directly from the womb -- let summer breaks and winter breaks be a thing of the past -- who needs that Santa Claus crap anyway when you're on the fast track -- maybe they can retire by the time they're 15.
But what happened to the magic and innocence of childhood?
What happened to the last day of school where you looked forward anxiously for a loooooooong summer filled with swimming and kids running loose, catching fireflys on hot summer evenings, and setting off M80's in people's mailboxes (oops, did I just confess that? Sorry, Mrs. George.)
Or the 4th of July, where sparklers were real and dangerous and on a metal stick. Since you were always standing around barefoot, it was a prerequisite that you stepped on one of those red hot, poker-like sticks while you're mother was screaming, "Don't poke your eye out!" Turned out my eyes remained in their sockets, but excuse me, Mom, my feet are burned and why year after year did you allow me out barefoot?
What about summer road trips where you're stuck in the back of the car with your brother (who in that close environment has suddenly turned into the most obnoxious creature on the planet), screaming "Are we there yet?" "I'm hungry!" and "I have to go to the bathroom!"
Nope, that's all been traded in for World History and "getting ahead." After all, getting into a good college isn't just about grades anymore.
So why are we all in such a hurry? It's not just the kids. I have a joke that there's real time and "Keen time." Real time is letting things unfold in a healthy manner over a period of months, and "Keen time" is, well, yesterday.
An example is:
Caller: "When am I going to be in a serious relationship?"
Me: "I see you meeting someone very early next year that has a shot at being a very serious relationship for you."
Caller: (Whiny voice) "Next year!!! I have to wait until next year? I can't wait another six months till next year!"
We want it today -- no, we want it yesterday. And then when we have it, when are they going to call, have sex, tell me they love me, propose, get married, have kids. We want it all NOW!
But then once we have achieved all that, we want to know why our marriage is so dull and we're thinking about that guy we went to high school with, when are the kids we were so anxious to have going to be out of diapers, or off to school, or leaving home?
So really, what ARE we doing? Why are we all in such a hurry to grow up, get the job, spouse, house, kids, and then in a hurry to wish them all away so we can have more freedom with the kids grown, and the house paid off, and retirement?
It's beginning to sound like the rumor is true, life's a bitch and then you die.
Why don't we all just slow down a bit and instead of being in a hurry for the future, we enjoy today? Enjoy making ourselves happy while we wait for the dude, savor the delicious anticipation of the first kiss instead of trying to manipulate it faster. Treasure our children and keep them close. Believe in Santa again.
As for me, I think I'm going to try to slow my fast track daughter down. Fourth of July is next week. I'm going to take her shoes off and light a sparkler. They're made of wood now, but maybe she can walk on the wild side and get a splinter or something.