I've said before, "I wish I could zip past the first three months straight into the third year in a relationship."
Now that seems kinda convoluted, doesn't it, wishing your life away? But it seems in my experience that those first three months are quite wonderous, the person is absolutely perfect, they think you're perfect, you've never felt like this before, you've never felt so connected. He's calling you constantly, bringing you flowers, can't do enough for you. Every minute apart is sweet agony.
And then suddenly . . . .
He belches. Or forgets to call. Or decides to go out with the guys. Whatever. You don't feel like the be-all, end-all of his world. He doesn't seem to be salivating at the thought of your every syllable. He can forego your melodious tones to watch a game. It seems you are not occupying his every waking - and even sleeping - moment!
What happened???????????????????
Not to worry. It just turns out he's human. But, ummmm, excuse me, look in the mirror, darling. So are you! That gum chewing, snorting when you laugh and the calling your girlfriends in the middle of every date is beginning to lose its charm. You're both human. What a collosal disappointment!
So, where do you go from here? Well, now it's time to take a deep breath, take a good look at each other, and decide whether it's worth the work. Now it's all about compromise, adjustment and, well, true love.
He stopped calling you three times a day. Okay, well, in real life, he needs to work, eat, breathe. He put his life on hold for a while, but the dude is turning purple now from lack of oxygen. You can really live with one call a day. If he starts skipping three days at a time, talk to him. If he wants to make you happy, he'll up it to once a day. If he's irritated with your gum snapping, stop, or compromise with him and say you'll chew quietly.
Let's take the gum chewing example. Silly one, I know, but it's a HUGE pet peeve of mine. If I met the most perfect man in the world but he was a gum chewer that chewed loudly, blew bubbles, and worst of all, snapped his gum and refused to stop, it would be a deal breaker for me. Petty, I know, but it's just one of those things for me. It might be smoking that is the deal breaker for you (well, I'm witcha on that one, too, lol).
Suddenly, you two have a fight! Face it, if it's a healthy relationship, you're going to have more than one. And you're going to work through it. You'll still talk when you're mad, talk when you're sad, talk when things are good and talk when things aren't so good. You might even still talk when you can't even stand the sight of his goofy face, and he'll talk to you with that huge zit on your nose from the Oreos everyone keeps talking about in my comments section.
You're going to question whether this is right for you, or if you should cut bait. Hate to break it to you, but your prize flounder is doing the same. Sometimes you might not like him very much, but still love him. He might be really stubborn, or you might be, and you'll push each other and squabble over control.
It takes time, and it takes work. And love isn't always enough. As far as time, it can take a couple years to get the gears well oiled and moving together well. If you forget to oil this machine along the way, it will come to a screeching halt till you fix it, send it to the junkyard, or turn into one of those couples who just exist.
But at the end of the day, if you still LIKE him and RESPECT him, and he feels the same, and you both keep coming back for more and you both keep adjusting and compromising, (holding neon flashing arrow at the word "both") well, I believe that's a silly little thing called love.