Soooo, you want a relationship.  And not just any relationship, you want the right relationship for you.  Of course you do.  If such a thing should cross your path, you wouldn't, say, push it away or purposely destroy it, now, would you?   And yet, it happens everyday. 

 
Are you a self-saboteur?  I know it's hard to believe, but if you really think about it, I think each and every one of us has gotten in our own way and self-sabotaged at one time or another.
 
Let me give you an example.  I have one caller who desperately wanted to find the right dude for her.  She finds a very promising candidate, and this dude goes to huge lengths to arrange this quite perfect weekend with her.
 
So if this were you, how would you prepare for said perfect weekend?  A.  Purchasing the perfect outfit; B.  Cleaning your apartment so everything looks great; C. Going to the dermatologist for a laser treatment that entails showing up for the date with bandages on your face?
 
Oh, you guessed it.  The answer was C.
 
Here's another. You've been unemployed for a while and finally get a job interview.  In order to be top of your game for the interview, you:  A.  Purchase the perfect business suit; B.  Eat a healthy breakfast; C.  Have a few drinks and then light a cigarette, accidentally setting yourself on fire.
 
Again, C.
 
And lastly, you decide to dip into the dating site pool.  You find Perfect Dude, who looks great on paper.  He is looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage, kids, white picket fence and 2.5 kids.  Said Perfect Dude:  A.  Sweeps you off your feet; B.  Proposes on the fourth date; C.  Promptly goes POOF into thin air.
 
Ummm, all of the above, in that order. 
 
Call Ripleys, 'cause Believe It Or Not, each of these examples are absolutely true, and not all that unusual.  Self sabotage happens in all aspects of life.
 
Why?  Very simply, fear, fear of change, fear of success, fear of failure. 
 
So when you want something, do you submit your order out there to the Universe, wait patiently (or like me, not so patiently), but then when the Universal pick-up window shouts, "No. 5432, your desire has manifested," do you test it, run from it or ruin it?  If so, we'd best start hiding all sharp objects and weapons because you're ripe for falling on your own sword or shooting yourself in the foot. 
 
My first piece of advice to you is an old one, be careful what you wish for.  Take relationships.  They are big scary places where you have to make yourself truly vulnerable to the other person, and take the big risk of getting hurt in one of the worst ways possible.  Is this what you really want?  Are you truly ready for it?  I'm not talking do you just want someone to love and adore you and be president of your fan club, but are you willing to step up to the plate and give the same back? 
 
If you want that new job, are you ready to move off the couch, leave the house, be prompt and take on the responsibility necessary to be successful? 
 
Here's the key.  Goal setting.  Decide the big global thing that you want to attain, where you want to find yourself.  Then break it down into tiny little baby steps even my hamster Violet could take.  Then examine the steps.  Are they feasible for you or is this a path you don't want to go down or a journey you won't enjoy?
 
Another example:  I talked to someone that said they wanted to be a marine biologist.  But while goal setting, we discovered that she not only didn't enjoy science, but basically, abhorred fish.  True story.
 
Once you've set a goal, broken it down into baby steps, examined those steps to make sure they are truly a path you wish to wander down, the only thing left is to start moving down that path, step by step, even if your first step is just getting up off the couch or picking up the phone to make a call. 
 
Before you know it, you'll be skipping down that path on your way.
 
Not only that, but it will be such a relief to be able to stop hiding all the sharp objects from you and let you have your razor back.  Things were getting a little hairy there for a while. 
 
 
**At this point, I have to confess, I've been having this little problem with these blogs where everyone seems to think that I'm talking about them or to them specifically. On the one hand, it's quite the compliment that I touch a common nerve, but on the other hand, I do want to assure you that I don't use specific examples without telling the person involved first that they will be appearing in my blog and that names will be omitted to protect the guilty.