No, this blog isn't about ghosts, unless you find yourself alone and are merely haunted by the ghost of friends past.  Lately, I've been noticing more and more women working against women, and I've got a problem with it.

 
I was lamenting this fact to someone the other day, and was told that Chris Rock does a bit on this -- which I've never heard -- but it's true.  There are more women in the world than men.  So why is it still a man's world?  Women don't like each other!
 
Now really, when the chips (or Oreos) are down and you're hurting, who is going to be sitting around with you in your pain?  The guys?  Noooooo.  They want to fix it, solve it, snap their fingers and go to Home Depot.  I mean, come on, you know with a man there ain't nothin' that can't be solved by a trip to Home Depot and a new roll of duct tape  (Please note, it is duct tape, no ducks were harmed in the making of this blog).
 
Sometimes we just need to sit, to wallow in it, to say mean things about the guy but not really mean it and "the girls" know you just can't "fix" pain, and they need to just sit with you until each breath doesn't feel unbearable anymore. 
 
So if the minute you meet a guy, you cancel dates with the girls, don't return their calls and generally ignore and throw yourself wholeheartedly into the relationship, I just hope this guy wants to be with you 24/7 for the rest of your life, or you're going to be one sorry pup.
 
Or how about when your friend meets a guy that you just feel deep down in your gut is no good, you don't like him, and she just isn't listening?   Maybe a battle ensues to either gain control or get her to stop seeing him or see him the way you see him.  Ahhh, but the siren song of love has called, the one that no woman can resist.  Remember, it's not a requirement that you like him.  You don't have to date him.  All you have to do is be a friend and pick up the pieces if and when she comes out of her coma and realizes what a turd he really is.  No told-ya-so's, just hold her hand until she emerges from that nether world.  After all, have all the guys you've dated been heaven on earth?  If so, you'd still be with them.
 
Oh, don't get me wrong.  I've had a few friends I've said, "Go run, be free" to when I realized they weren't really on my team.  It was great when I was doing all I could for them, but the minute my luck changed, they weren't interested. In my view, if you're not playing on my team, take your free agent butt on the road. 
 
Friends can't agree on everything, of course, and you can agree to disagree about things, but don't work against each other.  If a friend gets in a fight, sometimes I sigh, but I'll still roll up my sleeves and jump in the mud with her (get your mind out of the gutter, no female mud wrestling).  I certainly won't jump from one side to the other and back again.  I've always said that a real friend is someone you can call at 3:00 a.m. if I need to and she'll answer. 
 
This is not your competition, it's your friend.  Don't compete for her guy or attention or control or any of that nonsense.  In the long run, it's such a loser.  I've never met a person yet that was sorry they had a friend, just that they didn't.
 
I guess what it comes down to, you gotta be a friend to have a friend.  So today, go get your mind off of yourself and call up a friend and say, "How are you," and mean it.
 
And then call her back at 3:00 a.m. just to test her.  ;)