Do you have a higher expectations of others than you have of yourself? Are you leading a double life? Do you have one set of standards for yourself yet another for those around you? Are you a backstabber? Are you a control freak? Do you attempt to have control over those around you? Do you get other people to do your dirty work? When others do not conform to your expectations do you find it necessary to talk behind their back and put them down? Do you change your opinion of someone when they don't do what you insist? Are you in agreement with others just so they will accept you? Do you tell one friend it is blue and the other friend it is red? Just so you can go and use the information against them? Do you put your reputation above your friendships? Do you tell lies just to get what you want? do you turn your back on your friends when they need you? Or do you stick by them? When the going gets tough do you stick with it or do you run in another direction?
These questions are sensitive in nature. No one wants to be confronted with such questions.
The dictionary defines backstabbing as betrayal (as by a verbal attack against one not present) especially by a false friend. Recently I have had to deal with this sort of situation over others attempting to humiliate me over my refusal to conform to their standards. I found their comments hurtful. People I assumed were my friends were stabbing me in the back. Then they send me emails pretending that I took their words out of context. It was all because they were more concerned with how others were viewing their comments than how I may have viewed their comments. It would be nice things were simply blown out of propitiation, but they emailed potential clients. I found it all a bit unsettling. They throw more stones and maybe expect me to get down on my hands and knees and beg their forgiveness? I am unclear on their motives. In one breath they say one thing in another breath it is the complete opposite. Your experience with this sort of situation does not have to be as unpleassant as mine. I thought I would share some ideas on how to better handle these types of sticky situations.
Are you only making things worse? Does your friend only lash out at you when they are stressed. If that is the case, you can approach them with "You are only human and everybody makes mistakes."
Remember the good times in the friendship. Friends are supposed to stick by you in good times and bad.
Are you working too hard trying to please everyone? You should spend a little more time trying to please yourself. You can't always please everyone, so stop trying.
Don't loose your temper and start talking about someone behind their back. You will just end up damaging your own reputation and that will give you more worries than you bargained for.
Try clearing the air. Be careful, not to start a fight.You are trying to get your point across not add fuel to the fire.
Let it go, and forgive the other person. Holding grudges never helped anyone.
Don't take it personal. Remember a back stabber does not only stab you in the back but others as well. Don't attempt to explain anything to them, they won't understand anyway.
Accept people for who they are, don't try to change them.
It is not acceptable to talk about people behind their back. Think of how you would feel if someone was talking about you behind your back.
Hope this helps to keep others out of sticky situations.