10 Funny Rita Rudner Quotes
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
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