~ [Giggle Soup] ~ THE PECKER WANTS A RAISE
I, the Pecker, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
- I do physical labour.
- I work at great depths.
- I plunge head first into everything I do.
- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
- I work in a damp environment.
- I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
- I work in high temperatures.
- My work exposes me to diseases.
Reply: Dear Dick,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:
- You do not work 8 hours straight.
- You work in short spurts and fall asleep after each brief work period.
- You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
- You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen
visiting other locations.
- You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
- You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
- And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
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