Good news!!! God is NOT a jerk! God did not create negative emotions just for you to suffer and/or medicate. :))) They are tools to use. When you know how to use them, they make life easier and will even save your life. Read on and learn how to use the tool of fear.
Contrary to the opinions of a lot of well educated and well meaning psychologists, according to the discovery channel, no species on this planet would still be here without three drives: FEAR, aggression and sex. Much as I love to talk about sex and aggression, today lets talk about fear.
I asked my doctor for some valium to help me sleep at night. Without a little somethin' somethin' I sleep like a worm in hot ashes. He said "Lollie, the reason I don't like to prescribe valium is because it works too well."
"Too well?"
"Yes, it makes people stop being afraid of things they need to be afraid of. If you're not afraid of that semi trailer truck bearing down on you, you'll wind up looking like any other bug on their grill, just bigger. If you're not afraid of telling your boss what you hate about him at the company picnic, you'll lose your job. If you're not afraid of the weird neighbor always wanting to babysit your nine year old for free, that child can be traumatized for life. See? There are some things we need to be afraid of and valium tends to remove 'all' fears."
Come to find out, anxiety was never designed for us to suffer. It was designed to wake us up to danger. You've seen it on the new "Planet Earth" series. Peaceful antelope grazing on the lush Kalahari. Suddenly, the scent of a lion and you can see their fear.... and they leap to action. The lion kills the slowest of the herd and the rest go back to grazing a little further out. Ever see an antelope on an anxiety ward? No. The reason anxiety doesn't make the antelope sick is they correctly utilize it when they get it. Then they let it go. Because you see there will always be lion in the Kalahari.... why suffer anxiety one minute more than necessary?
The fear was necessary to save their lives, responding to it quickly and correctly was necessary too. But sitting around suffering it.... that's a recipe for at least more pain and often disaster. The most dangerous thing you'll ever do is be immobilized by fear. Promise.
So apply the wisdom of the antelope to your own life.
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Feel a rush of fear when you hear footsteps behind you on a dark street? Educate yourself! Look for light, people, safety. Gain skill, go over your karate lessons, reach for that mace in your purse. Oh yeah, and quit walking down dark streets! What were you thinking??
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Got test anxiety? Study till it goes away.
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Scared you can't find a job? Go to the library. Educate yourself in job search, find and acquire techniques. Practice them daily.
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Afraid if you or someone you love catchs on fire you'll burn to death? Remember and practice - stop, drop and roll.
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Afraid of you or someone you love drowning on your boating trip at the lake? Wear life vests.
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Afraid of you or someone you love being killed by a madman with an automatic weapon? Well just between you, me and the fence post.... remember and practice - run, hide and play dead. Once the media has that advice, so will the madmen, so playing dead won't be that helpful then.
Remember the odds. You're 60 times more likely to be killed by a deer than by a terrorist or a madman. No shit? No shit. Really. Afraid of being killed by a deer crossing the road? Do what I do, stay within the speed limit and at night, honk your horn lightly as you go along. There's a herd of 8 deer always crossing the road I live on here in the Ozark mountains. And so far, the blessing of fear has prevented me from having three serious accidents with them. :)
UNREASONABLE FEAR? Like you're afraid of showers cause you watched psycho... As you step into the shower hit the snooze button on your fear by immediately thinking of something you love to think about... that compelling person, a vacation in the Bahamas, the job of your dreams; make it a habit. In a few weeks your unreasonable fear disappears. It only thrives when you nourish it with your focus. Try this process on yourself. You'll see.
The key to suffering anxiety less and getting the good out of it more is to practice utilizing it. When you experience anxiety... get into your brain and get busy using it! It's a lot like that "I gotta pee" alarm clock.... soon as you use it right, the irritating alarm clock is turned off and replaced with relief.
If you choose to ignore your fear, only focusing on the positive and nothing else... well you silly rabbit, God loves you too much to let you ignore important alarm clocks.... they just get louder, more insistent, more irritating. Don't believe me? Go as long as you can stand to go without peeing today. As it drives you crazy, thank God for loving you enough to give you alarm clocks and when you are finally forced by the forces within to go pee, and you feel that sweet sweet relief, thank God for that too. That's his little pat on the back for taking care of you.
See what I mean? God is not a jerk! God did not give us any pain at all without a healthy purpose behind it. Remember that next time you feel fear, anxiety, stress.... and then use it.
I took the picture of the tiger at the Tulsa Zoo with a really long zoom camera. Looks close enough to feel his breath, but I was a good thirty feet away from him. :)
[photo and fear facts © lollie dot com]
Got questions?