Curious? Then come on in.....

When he says "I Love You" is it going right over your head?

Is it possible he's saying "I Love You" and it's going right over your head? Yes, yes, probably yes, hell yes!!  And is it possible that you're saying "I love you" in a way that makes him uncomfortable instead of making him want more? Yes, yes, dammit, YES. Happens every day!

How can that be? Because we really are different.  We speak different versions of the same language. Some years back when the book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" came out, everyone bought  it, everyone read it, and damn few saw improvements in their relationships with men.

Does, that mean the book was wrong? No. The book is absolutely on the money.  The problem was, we didn't realize it was a language book. You wouldn't read a french-english dictionary and then move to France thinking you'd be able to communicate well and easily with the French. You'd practice it.  You'd practice the hell out of it.

Luckily, I wasn't just reading it for me. I was reading it for YOU too. So I did practice it. I did my best to speak their language to every person that owned a penis. To this day, I even speak the masculine language to my dachshunds, who happen to be boys.

The trouble is, the language doesn't come easily to us.  Sure it's easy to pronounce the words, but it doesn't ring with our hearts the way it does theirs. 

I'll start with one word, to me the most important word of all.... appreciate.  Seems like a relatively small thing. Of course I appreciate him. Which is the same way he feels about the words "I love you."  How often have we heard them say, "Well of course I love you." The implied question with both statements is "But do I really need to tell you that every day???"  And the answer is, "No, but it probably would help and probably wouldn't hurt to say it a lot more often than we do."

I've seen many a good relationship crumble because he makes change after change to please her and she spends maybe 5 seconds peeling out on the appreciation driving hell bent right into the next change or improvement she wants him to make.

As far as he's concerned, if you don't appreciate him, you don't love him, and if you don't love him, why be faithful, why stick around, why  settle for a woman that says she loves him, all the while she's proving she doesn't? (Again, appreciation = love to most men, and if he's not hearing enough of the former, he's not feeling much of the later.

So next time you want to say to him "I LOVE YOU!"  just tell him how much you appreciate.... anything he's doing right.  That way he can actually hear what you're actually saying. 

This is the first in a series of articles about the language of love. Stay tuned. :)

10/7/2008			WOW! I SHOULD HAVE CALLED YOU MUCH SOONER! I ASKED MY QUESTION AND SHE GAVE ME MY ANSWER AND MORE! THANK YOU SOO MUCH! FIRST TIME CALLED AND I THINK SHE IS TRULY THE REAL THING.
10/6/2008			Thank you Lollie, I'll wait for #8, and see what happens with this job. Hopefully it comes soon.
10/6/2008			Thank you for the free minutes and time frame on my question. You've been accurate in my last two readings so I am watching out for those dates. Anne
10/6/2008			lollie, you are the absolute best, fantastic, honest to goodness real-deal!!! always just so right on w/ facts, it's almost uncanny. you have an amazing gift and i'm so glad i called you so many years ago!!!!!!!!! you have never, never, never, never ever told me anything but the truth, and what you've told me over the years has come to pass so many, many times! you are right at the top of the best of keen, no matter what anyone says!!! YOU ARE FANTASTIC!!! (and so is that snazzy pink bike of yours!! lol )

Wonder what he hears when you say I love you?

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Published Tuesday, October 07, 2008 4:30 PM by Lollie-ext-5555